UpDATE: Meet Mr. Birmingham – Part Two

(If you haven’t read Part One, click here)

As we’re seated in the fancy lounge area on a comfy couch made of velvet, a waitress approaches us and leaves us the cocktail menu. 

The room is occupied by tourists speaking other languages, families that look like they just walked off of a Ralph Lauren Ad, a group of friends, another group of older, wealthy couples, and people on dates.

Several times I catch people sitting nearby staring at us, and I can’t figure out if they’re trying to figure out who we are or what.  Celebrities frequent this hotel, so perhaps the out-of-towners are curious.  This does happen frequently to me, however, and just the other night at a charity event someone asked if I was on TV.  Hmmm.  Anyways…

It’s definitely “First Date Jitters” happening, and we’re both a bit nervous, as expected.  We make small talk, and he orders us both some wine when she returns.

He asks great questions and we continue to find out that we have even more in common.  Some quite interesting things pop up.

He asks, “Where’s the #1 place you want to travel to in the world?”

Without hesitation, I respond with confidence, “Dubai! I’ve been obsessed for years.”

He’s SHOCKED because he admits that’s the #1 place he has on his list! Weird.

We learn that he we both play piano, and played percussion in band during high school.

I learn that he was very involved in mentoring kids in schools back home in Alabama, that he was a season ticket holder to the Atlanta Hawks, and that he has three older sisters who he’s very close to.

He was married for 12 years, but divorced back in 2010.  I learn that she had a small town mentality, which is fine, but not when she knew he was meant for bigger things and therefore tried to hold him back.

We can definitely relate on this one.

He tells me he thinks I’m amazing, and up until that moment, didn’t think I was real.

“Real??” I ask.  “I’m real and sitting right here in front of you!”

He admits to deleting his OkCupid profile earlier that morning, and hoped that meeting me tonight would actually happen.  I guess something about my profile and pics was “too good to be true.” 🙂

We chat for a long time about life and his move to Los Angeles and why this all happened for him.

Typically, everyone who moves here has a dream they’re pursuing.  This guy has quite the story already.

He’s an engineer who works remotely from home.  He has two major clients (think big govt contracts) which pay him very well, however his heart is in being a writer.

He decided to give it a shot awhile ago and ended up being hired by a magazine to write for them.  They loved his stuff and that lead to him being put in contact with CAA – one of the world’s largest agent/manager companies that represents top talent in the entertainment industry.

Apparently, he had written two screenplays (aka – movie scripts) that these guys really loved and made him an offer to come work for them.

They flew HIM out to Los Angeles and put him up until he finds a place to live.  As of that day we met, he had just signed on with an Agent at CAA.  Amazing! He’s already off to a great start, and has accomplished something most people in LA work towards their whole life and never see come to fruition.

I’m totally impressed, and loving how ambitious this guy is.

We talk about our families and other things we like to do for fun, and then it’s getting late for him because he’s still on CST and hasn’t adjusted.

He pays for the bill and we head towards valet to pick up my/his car.

As I pull up to his hotel to drop him off, he mentions I should come hang out with him some more.  A bit surprised because I thought he was tired, I agree and am happy because I really didn’t want the night to end so soon.

He’s still quite the gentleman and kind of distant physically, so I’m feeling comfortable with that.  Definitely not affectionate.  I get the sense he’d still like to continue the great conversation.

We take the elevators up to his room.

We enter and after I set my purse down on the desk, make my way over to the balcony outside.  He opens the door and we step out onto his balcony, with the most amazing view! We’re right in the middle of the hotel and can view beautiful fountains across the way, and the glorious CAA glass office building right across the street where hours earlier he shook hands with several gentlemen and struck a deal with his future.

We both love nice cars and he points out this ridiculous Range Rover parked outside, below the hotel in valet.  He had told me he heard it earlier and that it must have a custom V12 engine in it – it sounded like a Lamborghini, he said! Crazy.  And definitely a sick car.

We stay out on the balcony for awhile longer.  The conversation is so easy and comfortable.

We come back inside and since there’s no couch, we both make our way to the bed.  I see a magazine he’s picked up that says, “The Top 25 Things to Do in Los Angeles” and instantly get excited.  Since I’ve told him I’d be happy to be his tour guide, I start flipping through it.

He’s laying on the very farrrrr edge of the bed, away from me.  It’s cute.  We’re like in Junior High, afraid to get too close to each other…lol.

He turns on the TV and we continue to talk, watch the show, flip through the magazine, etc.  We’re laughing and flirting a bit, and he’s still asking great questions here and there.

It’s super comfortable.  And the tension just melts away.

All of a sudden we hear a loud car engine start up outside the window.  We BOTH immediately jump off the bed and run to the balcony, saying, “THAT’S IT!!!!”

We laugh as we quickly open the patio door and sure enough, look down to see that new Range Rover with the V12 engine started up in valet.  We watch (and listen) as the guy who owns it drives off down the street below us.  The sound is ridiculous! (and one that I absolutely love)…

We both laugh at the fact that we immediately both jumped up and went to go look at the same time….lol.  Two peas in a pod.

The bed beckons again and we resume our positions, but this time a bit closer.

I’m finding awesome things we can go do in this magazine, and he’s excited about future plans I name off that sound interesting to him.

He’s back to watching TV and at one point I look at him and he’s watching me.

He asks, “If you could be anywhere, where would it be?”

I hesitate for a second, but only because the answer that immediately came to my head sounded so cheesy that I didn’t want to share it. But heck, I’m never one to lie and always believe in being authentic so I say,

“Right here, actually.”

He smiles.  I smile and look back down at my magazine, a little nervous.

“Really?” he asks.

“Yeah,” I say. “And I only say that because I believe there’s no other place I’m supposed to be other than right here right now.”

He agrees that this feels nice and definitely comfortable, and I wonder if all this time of being single and dating I’ve just been waiting for a guy from Birmingham, Alabama to finally get to Los Angeles…

 

 

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UpDATE: Meet Mr. Birmingham – Part One

Okcupid has been working overtime for me lately.

After a pretty decent break of being on it (and instead, focusing on Tinder’s shenanigans) I logged back in about two weeks ago to peep the scene and check a few messages.

I noticed a guy from Alabama had viewed my profile and the bow tie he was wearing in his profile pic was enough to get me to click through to check out his whole profile.

He has style. Nice.

The fascination had just begun.

The first line of his bio states that he’s a “confident, established, successful gentleman.”

Now that’s all relative, as I’ve learned through previous situations, but I’m curious to learn more, and am definitely looking for someone who’s more established than not.

I skim his profile and it leaves other  nuggets in there for me that I love, like that he’s a “relationship guy…who prefers to only date one woman at a time ..sorry if that offends anyone….”

Well, what the what?!

Offended?!

No, charmed.  More guys in LA need to adopt this concept.

Continue.

He’s an “engineer by trade, but a writer by heart.”

We’re already similar in that we’re both 50/50 right-brain/left-brain.  Nice!

Then it says he’s in the process of relocating to LA.

I wonder if he’s been here already and that this profile is old, but I send him a message saying. ..

“I’m the best tour guide you could ask for in LA, if you’re looking for one!”

He responds back,

“I was hoping you’d say that…!”

We exchange a few messages back and forth.  He says he’s arriving to LA on Thursday and that I should contact him then.

We’re both excited to meet each other!

The days go by and we text and play phone tag until we finally have a chance to connect on Sunday.  He’d been here a few days already.

I reach him on the phone while driving to my gf ‘s birthday party.

He totally has an accent! A true Southern Gent, born and raised in Alabama. Refined, and I love it.

We talk about things we like and don’t like and we learn we have a bunch of things in common already. Hmmm, interesting!

I don’t really have any friends from the South here in LA, so this is different for me. All I know is that everyone there is friendly, polite, takes their time and loves good food. Kinda like the Midwest where I’m from, I guess. 🙂 Fun!

We’re both available later that evening and I make plans to pick him up.  He’s staying at the Hyatt Regency until he buys a house, and won’t get his two cars (yes, TWO cars) delivered here until Monday, so I arrive.

I call him and he says he’s walking out.

Soon I see a man in a light-colored, striped seersucker suit on the phone, walking towards me.

Yes, folks. Seersucker.  The South is alive and well.

We hang up and I get out to hug him hello. He cleans up nicely, and can totally pull it off. I learn he’s always styling.

We get in my car and he’s kinda quiet, and chuckling.

I ask him what’s up. He says,

“We drive the same car.”

“What?!”

Haha…yes. Apparently we have matching BMWs, except his is white and mine is black.

“I’m walking up to your car thinking,  ‘This woman is not driving my car…’lol….”

We add this to our already long list of things we have in common. 🙂

We take a 4 minute ride over to Beverly Hills and to one of my favorite spots for great first date drinks, The Peninsula. I already knew he’d love the vibe.

We pull up to valet, amongst several Bentleys, Rolls Royces, an Audi R8, and more. I love this place.

the peninsula beverly hills

We head to the very fancy lounge and sat down to talk and have some wine.

He’s very calm. Confident.  Refined.

And totally wearing seersucker!

I’m quite intrigued by this man, and I know the evening is about to get interesting.  This is not an ordinary guy…

To be continued….

I Am Absolutely Certain, Without a Doubt, That “The Doc” Loves Me! I Think…

(Head-up….this was from a draft I had written a long time ago but never published.  The below story happened in MAY! Much has happened with The Doc and I since, but I had to get you caught up on a very important evening…)

Sigh.

I saw The Doc again.

I debated writing this blog because whatever unfolds from our interactions is always SO REAL and SO DEEP that it’s almost too hard to write about. But nonetheless…

It’d been a few months since we last saw each other.  That was after I politely told him to stop contacting me.  His random messages of “What’s up babe?” on any given Wednesday but with no follow through or plans to see me was too much for me to handle, so I thought “Outta sight, outta mind” should do the trick.  I needed to move on.  He had politely agreed, and didn’t argue.

For two months straight I tried my best to forget about him.

I failed miserably.

The Doc is EVERYWHERE and never far from my mind, as hard as I try:

I drive past a hospital or pharmacy – I think of him.

I hear a reference to Belize – I think of him.

Someone plays a reggae song – I think of him.

I travel to Terranea Resort – I think of him.

I meet someone from USC – I think of him.

I’m breathing – I think of him.

See? Bad.  I’d want to reach out but never did.

But then I got this freaking kidney stone thing that landed me in the ER and the whole fiasco really, really made me miss him.  And it gave me a really, really good reason to reach out to him.

So, naturally, I did.

I emailed him, gave him a quick run down of what landed me in the hospital, and told him I’d love his feedback and opinion on whether or not I should take these two prescriptions they gave me. (I hate taking pills, if I can help it.)

He emailed back right away and said he was leaving for the airport for a meeting but that he’d call me when he got back later that night.

He did call.

He was meeting his boys to play basketball so he only had a few minutes, but he gave me great feedback and said we’d catch up more later.

A few text convos and a week or so later happened.

Fast forward…

It was Saturday and I was looking forward to a second date I had planned with Mr. Marketing.  As much as The Doc is…well, my unavailable soulmate in scrubs, I am also a very realistic person and am seeing and meeting other great guys.

Unfortunately, Mr. Marketing cancelled our plans due to family stuff that afternoon. Jerk! Dang it!

I was bummed.  Kinda sad, actually.  And I hate getting cancelled on last minute.

Actually, I’m being dramatic.  For two seconds I was sad.

I read his cancellation text and then immediately text The Doc.

“Happy Saturday!”

He responds right back.

“Happy Saturday to you, too, sexy lady.  What’s up on your side?”

Success.

I already knew two things:

1. He wanted to see me.

2.  He wasn’t busy that night.

Sure enough, I was right.  I really know this man.

Later that night, I brought myself and a tasty 2009 Cabernet Sauvignon over to his place.

cabernet-sauvignon-2009

I pull into his garage and recall how perfect our cars fit in there next to each other.  He’s in there doing laundry, which I can say is probably even MORE perfect of a scenario.

He gives me a huge, big hug and kiss on the neck.  His smile is enormous.  I’m sure mine’s bigger.  I’m SO excited to see him.

We make our way upstairs and he breaks open the wine.

The mood is light, flirtacious, fun.  It’s us.  It’s always exciting and we both haven’t stopped smiling or laughing for a good 10 minutes now.

He asks me what happened to my plans that night and I tell him (vaguely) that “…people cancelled and wanted to re-schedule…”

“People?” he asks, coyly, as he smiles a knowing smile.

“Ok,” I say. “One person in particular.”

I shake my head, he smiles, and we both know there are others involved here but that it was working out for the better with the two of us right in this moment.

I’ve always loved our honesty.

We catch up.  He tells me I look good, despite the kidney stone nonsense, and I get scolded for not drinking enough water.  He’s always giving me loving medical advice.

He tells me his cousin says hi.
I want to tell him to give his cousin my number so i can tell him to knock some sense into The Doc and wake up and smell the coffee here and realize I’m the perfect woman for him, but I don’t.  I just smile and think it’s special he mentioned that.

And then he tells me that he’s looking to buy another house in Belize.

“What?!?!” I shrieked.

To catch you up on something – he was against another bidder on a property there about 6 months ago, but he lost.  When he called me to tell me that he didn’t get it, I told him he lost that house because of fate.  I wasn’t in on it with him, and that we should buy our dream house there together. I was half-serious, and I’m sure he thought it was cute.

I told him I didn’t want to hear about this new one.

“Why not?” he asks.  “Because you’re not in on it with me?” He smiles.

Ah ha! He remembered.

Honestly, I can see this picture of us living in paradise painted so clearly in my head that I don’t want to hear about it unless it’s going to happen. So I ask him one question:

“You can tell me about it but ONLY if the answer to this question is “yes”…

“Ok, shoot,” he says.

“Will I ever see this house with my own eyes?”

And without missing a beat, he says, “Sure! Why not?”

I get all serious and say, “Yeah, ok. Whatever.  I don’t invite myself to places that I’m not wanted…”

He corrects me.  He’s serious, too.  “You’re here now, aren’t you?”

We’ll see.

Anyways, he tells me about this amaaazing property on the tropical blue waters of the Caribbean Sea.  I picture him, me and a hammock and I go into dreamland again.  This fairy tale is amazing, isn’t it?

Back to reality…

We talk for another hour cuddled up on the love seat, have the TV on in the background, laugh, catch up on work and careers, and finish the bottle of wine.

It’s getting late now.  Time to go to sleep.

We head upstairs, a now familiar trek. I mean, we’ve known each other for awhile now.

Sorry to let down you about any juicy, racy, sexy details, but the rest of the night is literally a PG situation – we sleep/cuddle and nothing else.  About 90% of the night he’s spooning me.  He’s even affectionate in his sleep! Perfection.

I wake up early in the AM to the sound of my phone buzzing.  It’s a new message on OkCupid.

The Doc is turned over and snoring.

I check it, cuz, hey why not.

Side note: At this point, for those of you following this never-ending love story of The Doc and I who are all like, “What the heck is she doing?? Why’s she holding out for this dude? He’s clearly not into her the same way…” Well, just hold it one hot second.

I’m not in my 20s anymore.  I’ve worked in the dating and relationship space for years and know many former clients or friends who are relationship experts, authors, speakers, therapists and more.  I’ve learned a ton and feel pretty healthy in my choices.

Besides, if I WAS all into him (and only into him) I wouldn’t have been excited to check my dating app notifications while snuggled under his 1200 thread-count sheets while he slept beside me.  🙂 I’m optimistic, yet realistic.  Big difference.

I check the message.  It’s from a new guy.  Cool.

I also check my texts.  More late night messages from others who are pursuing me.  Cool, but I don’t respond.

The Doc is still sleeping but I do kinda have a guilty conscience so I put my phone back on the bedside table.  They all can wait.

I’m fully awake now and it’s about 8am on a Sunday.  No going back to sleep for me, so I lay there and look around.  His master bedroom suite is so familiar to me and I’m always amazed at how neat and orderly it is.

The pile of books on his bedside table include “The 5 Love Languages” and “What On Earth Am I Here For?” by Rick Warren.

I know what he’s here for!!!!

Unbeknownst to him, the answer is clearly for him to find me, fall in love and live happily ever after.

I’m WISHING that it said that on page 42 or something and all he’d have to do is stumble across it eventually.

But it doesn’t, so I’m left to let the Big Man Upstairs handle the timing or outcome on this one.

An hour or so passes by and FINALLY he stirs awake.

He leans over and kisses me gently on my head.

“Good morning.”

I smile.

I tell him “Hi…” and that I should get going soon.

Honestly, I have no plans, but never want to overstay my welcome, and also I recall him saying he had plans to meet his mom for lunch. #perfectson

But I did not expect what would happen next to happen.

For the next THREE HOURS, we laid in bed and talked.
(TALKED, people! I swear to goodness.)

He didn’t want me going anywhere.  I was officially trapped on this cloud.

But seriously, the stuff we talked about was deep.  It was real.

Real deep.

It didn’t start off that way.  In fact, it was our usual catching up conversations.

Conversations that couples have on lazy Sunday mornings who are conquering life together, as a team.

He caught me up on his work, his less-than-amazing boss, his recent accomplishments and his busy travel schedule lately.  Meetings, conferences, speaking engagements. He’s killing it out there.

I’m so proud of this guy.  He’s a star at his company and is looked to for knowledge and expertise that guys 20 years older don’t have.  His intelligence, drive and ambition is one of the most sexy things about him to me.

The hours tick by and we’re still cuddling and talking in bed.

We’re both in the comfortable space we’ve become accustomed to.  He stops for a moment, kissses my forehead and says..

“Hey.  Don’t ever stop talking to me like you did again, ok?”

He’s kinda sad, definitely serious.

The Doc has actually communicated something that he wants from me.  Fascinating.

I feel bad now that I did spend the last few months ignoring him and cutting off all communication.  I guess the guy noticed.

I agree and tell him I’m sorry and then tell him that as hard as I FRICKIN’ TRIED, I couldn’t stop thinking about him during that time anyways.  My plan had backfired.

Then The Doc tells me I’m never far from his mind.  He’s always thinking of me and praying for me and wishing me the best.  Always.

Well, dangnabit.  I had no idea.

We end up basically professing love for each other.

Not the “Let’s-get-married-tomorrow” kind of love, but the “We-really-care-about-the-lives-of-each-other-here” kind of love.  It’s one I’ve not ever experienced.

And yes, it’s not the one I’m exactly looking for, either.

I do feel amazing, however, and protected and special, and….loved, in this moment.  I try to hold onto it for as long as possible, knowing that as soon as I get up out from under the crisp white down comforter we share, it’ll be back to reality.

And back to my OkCupid and Tinder messages.

Strangely enough, I’ve come to appreciate both situations.

We spend a bit more time together in bed (still only a PG situation) and then it’s time for me to leave.

As I head to my car in his garage, we’re both smiling.  He kisses me one last time, gives me another big hug and I’m on my way.

I drive all the way home with a smile….and a peace in my heart.

 

They’re Baaaack

First of all, I know I owe my faithful readers a Part 2 of the last blog, False Starts and Orgasms, but to be honest with you that all sort of fizzled out and I’ve been too uninspired to finish the story.  Sorry.

Mainly because the guy has been keeping in contact with me but not making any further plans. He tells me he’s focused on his gig at Warner Bros, as well as his side projects and launching his company. He checks in on me and we talk every now and then. But nothing more. So frustrating! I also think he’s confused on what he wants.

Welcome to the non-committal, career-driven, Single Man Syndrome in Los Angeles. Again.  My catch-22.  Sounds like The Doc.

That being said, I’m writing this quick blog update to let you know that there are people who DO know what they want, and they won’t leave me alone!  And strangely enough, these guys are from my past blog updates. It was last year when I met both of these guys, if I recall correctly.

So many guys come back down the road. Especially if I’m the one who isn’t interested after a date or two. Weird.

Anyway, Mr. Can I Get A Vowel and Mr. Too Young Tyson Beckford have both been consistently persistent in wanting to see me again. Last night both of them were texting me…

Mr. Can I Get A Vowel is single (and still VERY hot, I imagine) and apparently thinks about me all the time but didn’t want to bother me. However, his tune clearly changed recently, as the texts began picking up again. He has been asking to see me for several weeks now but I’ve been hesitant.

I told him I had reservations that we don’t want the same things. Although we have CRAZY chemistry,  I’m looking for a long term committed relationship, and I’m not sure that’s what he wants too. He says he understands what I want, that he’s open to that idea, that he really likes me and that he wants to ‘go with the flow.’

That’s either code for “yeah yeah yeah…I just want in your pants so I’ll say anything at this point…” OR it means he’s potentially interested in really getting to know me better and doesn’t want to promise me anything he’s not sure about.  They both sound the same.

You could flip a coin on this one.  We’ll see.

We have a date on Wednesday night.

He came up with a plan, a place, a time, a day – all something that a lot of men, it seems, have trouble doing.

Side note: It’s not rocket science to ask someone out for coffee or a drink, geez! Be a man! Ask us single ladies out on a date, already!  🙂

I digress.

So naturally,  I accepted his invitation.

Last night I fell asleep to his text that said he was very excited to see me and couldn’t wait. That made me excited, too. It will be good to catch up with him at least.

This morning I woke up to a text from him telling me:

“Good morning, beautiful. I hope you have a wonderful day.”

I like it. 🙂

Mr. Too Young Tyson Beckford isn’t that serious, and hasn’t planned an actual date with me yet, although he’s mentioned wanting to get together a few times.  He was gone for a couple weeks on a business trip in Canada and returned recently.

He’s still a few years younger. I believe he’s still in his late 20’s, which was my biggest reservation in the past.

My ex-boyfriend is 50! That’s quite a gap.

However, he’s very, very interested in seeing me again and who knows what I’ll do with that one. Probably nothing. Even over text I can sense some immaturity.  It’s not his fault, its just where he is right now in life. Nothing wrong with that. (Except horrible timing for me!) I’m really looking for someone who’s in their 40s.

But DANG! He is gorgeous!

So there’s a quick roundup.

There are other players on the field.  More of them are on the sidelines or brand new to the lineup and not yet blog-worthy.  Of course, I’ll be sure to let you know if anything develops.

Who knows what will happen, but I can almost guarantee you… shenanigans.

Shenanigans,  indeed.

The Doc, His Cousin and Me: An Interesting Threesome

After a long somewhat stressful, definitely busy week at the office I was ready to just come home tonight and chill.  It’s a Friday, I’ve survived the post-Valentine’s Day madness, and I just want to kick back.

Earlier, I declined an invite to meet a new guy from OkCupid out for drinks (and yes, I deleted my Plenty of Fish account for certain reasons, but OkCupid has been there like a trusted standby.)

I had already re-scheduled dinner plans earlier with a girlfriend for another time.

Another text comes in.  I decline a second invitation to head out to party with a guy who I’ve known for several years, who’s interested in dating me (even though I’d rather just be friends).  He’s so much fun, but definitely not near me in Santa Monica right now, and I don’t feel like driving anywhere.

So I’m chillin’ on the couch, eating some dinner and watching American Idol on the DVR when guess who calls me out of the blue?

The Doc.

My heart skips a beat and I debate not answering.  I’m sooo tired.

But, HELLO! It’s The DOC!

So, duh, I answer.

He wants to know what I’m up to tonight.  Him and his cousin (who I’ve heard many things about) are looking for something to do, and he says it’d be nice to see me.  They’ll even come to me so I don’t have to drive.

So an hour and change later, I’m walking across the street to our local watering hole, which is ALSO the same place I had my housewarming party where The Doc and I slow danced for an hour, holding each other and catching up after not seeing each other for awhile.  Obviously special memories.

I meet his cousin.

He’s tall and built, just like The Doc, and also from Belize.

They’re both dressed nice – The Doc in a salmon-colored Nike polo shirt and jeans and his cousin in a nice collared shirt and jeans.

I’m feeling floored that I’m being introduced to family members for the first time tonight, but hey, whatever.  I can roll with it.

The Doc immediately tells his cousin that the last time we were here together he and I “slow danced to an uptempo jam while all her friends carried on around us…it was great…”

…and all of a sudden I realize that The Doc has DEFINITELY told his cuzzo about who I am and what I mean to The Doc, on more than one occasion and knows things like I’ve stayed at his house before, and how we both love when he makes coffee in the mornings with his new French press contraption.  And, he’s not shy or embarrassed or squeamish about these details.

Refreshing.

It’s almost like we’re dating.

We all laugh, we joke, we have a GREAT time.

His cousin, more than once, laughs at my jokes or high fives me for giving The Doc some crap about something or other (I like to give him a hard time…he loves our sharp, witty banter).

On several occasions, his cousin looks at The Doc after something I said and goes, “I approve” as he points at me and smiles.  “Yeah, man…”

At one point, his cousin says, “I’ve never seen him smile so much.  He wasn’t even smiling til you walked in, and now he can’t stop!”

It’s cute.

We banter, we flirt, we order fancy drinks (of which they are both connoisseurs of good drinks) and talk about several things, including love and relationships.

Yes, we went there.  In a light-hearted kinda way.

I have no problem telling The Doc that he’s more of a “Tinder than eHarmony kinda guy,” mostly to test him and his lack of commitment conversations we’ve had so many times in the past.

But tonight he actually defends himself!

Which is weird cuz that’s not like him.

Plus, we’re talking about all of this with his cousin, too, who’s very much a part of this conversation.

I’m finding it very interesting how open and vulnerable The Doc is being.  Not only with me, but in front of his cousin, too! We’ve had many a deep conversation by ourselves, but this is unique.  I know they’re super close and it’s obvious he’s comfortable in this space.

The Doc tells me maybe he IS more of an eHarmony target customer but that most people just don’t know his heart is actually on the other side, so they can’t find it.

I joke that he just shared with me where his heart is, and whether or not he realized that, and he says, “That’s ok that you know.  I know you won’t break it.”

Breakthrough.

I tell him “that’s true” and deep down I know that if this man truly gave me his heart, it’d be the world’s best love story, and that I’d love him more than anyone I’ve ever loved in my life.  There are SO many things I love and respect about who this man is as a person.

His cousin goes to the bathroom at one point and The Doc pulls me close and tells me how good it is to see me.

I’m in familiar territory but I refuse to get all goo-goo-gaa-gaa over this moment, because I never know really where he’s at.  My heart is protected now, too.

Eventually the bar is closing down so he takes care of the check.

We walk out and he wants to walk me home (across the street) like a gentleman.

I hug his cousin goodbye as he waits for valet to get their car.  He says he definitely wants to see me again, and that we’ll make plans.  I like him – he’s cool people!

The Doc walks me to my door.  We stand reallllly close to each other, we hug, he tells me I smell good.

We banter, I give him crap about the whole “Tinder vs eHarmony” thing again, he tells me to quit, smiles, he thanks me (again) for coming out to meet them, and I thank him for meeting me here so close to my place.

We kiss, and I wipe some of my very red lipstick off of his lips after.

“Oops, sorry,” I say.

He shrugs and says, “I like it.”

We then hug and say good night and he watches me walk away, with this big cheesy, adorable grin on his face.

And there ya have it.

A random night with The Doc, where he wanted me to meet his cousin.  So I did.

It means everything, nothing or something in the middle.

Too late and too much to figure out with this guy, so instead, I’m heading to bed.

The story of The Doc & I continues…

Shenanigans, indeed.

The Abs Return: Mr. Surgeon Part II

In case you missed the introduction to Mr. Ab-City Surgeon, head there now and then come back.

So are you ready?!?! Here’s an update on the handsome washboard-having MD!

Ok, well, you see that last exclamation point I just used in the last sentence? Yeah, that sentence alone was about as exciting as it’ll get here, so don’t expect fireworks or get your hopes up for somethin’ juicy.  Not in this one, at least.  (Not every part of the dating in LA shenanigans contains pizazz.  Sorry.  Which further signifies the sometimes draining, dismal, boring, frustrating part of online dating.  I tend to share the exciting and emotional experiences, but yes, there are the hum-drum, snoozefest moments, too.)

And although I was totally excited to see the blue, flashing “New message from (insert his screen name here)” on OkCupid come flying in tonight, the excitement was about a 2 on a scale of 1 to 10.

Why, you ask?

Mostly because it had been 8 DAYS since we last exchanged messages.  8 DAYS! That’s like an eternity in online dating speak.  Nobody waits that long and still remembers someone they talked to once, over a week ago.

Except me, I guess.  I remembered him.  He was even blog-worthy.  And I can thank my photographic memory, too.  And for his six-pack abs that permanently burned a hole in my single mind’s eye…

Regardless, I was caught up in a TV show when the blue light came blinking and I didn’t want to look toooo eager, so I waited a bit to check his message and respond.

I had previously asked him whether he was from LA.

He started with:

“Hi (insert my name here)!”

An exclamation point! He used my name! That was nice.  Some interest there, obviously.

And then he answers my question.  In two sentences.  And that was it. Nothing more, no further questions.

WHEW! Told ya.  Excitement.  Drama.  Intrigue.

NOT.

I sent him back a generic message, and asked another related question about his experience living in Los Angeles.

So now I’m sitting here thinking:

A.) Hmmm.  He wrote me back, but is he still interested? I mean, he DID write me back.  He DID use an exclamation point.  He DID use my name (and re-look at my profile before responding.) But he was very short in his response, and didn’t ask a single question in return.  Hmmm.

and,

B.) I wonder if Mr. Architect will let me know about confirming plans for this Friday’s date tonight, or tomorrow? Hmmm.

So there ya have it.

My interest has clearly been diverted off of abs and steered into a very different direction.  A taller, older, more established direction.  And yes, I just called Mr. Architect more established than a surgeon, believe it or not.  He’s incredible! (I still owe you more info on Mr. Architect, I know…)

In my first blog about Mr. Surgeon, I had predicted that he’d either never respond, we’d send a few messages back and forth, or we’d get married – with the reality laying somewhere in the middle.

My further prediction now?

I think that was the end.

I’d be very surprised if I hear back from him again.

I would NOT be surprised, however, if I found some more abs on OkCupid.  The amount of beautiful men sporting almost perfect bodies on dating sites in Los Angeles is almost laughable.  They’re everywhere.  Must be something in the water…

Mr. Ab-City Surgeon

I’ve seen a lot of abs in my day.  Guys who are super cut, extremely fit, with tight abdominals that show muscles I didn’t know existed.

For some really crazy reason, I seem to attract a lot of guys in LA who are in tip top shape -personal trainers, actors, models, etc.  And all this, despite the fact that my time spent in the gym is less than a fish spends on land, but hey, they’re not complaining.

I’ve even dated a celebrity personal trainer for about 8 months and we never worked out together ONCE.  He was fine with that and totally into me.

While you have to be attracted to each other, and it’s important to live a healthy lifestyle, newsflash, ladies: curves, confidence and a sense of humor are IN.  🙂

Which brings us to Mr. Surgeon.

First of all, I find it interesting that I’ve now met several men in the healthcare field recently.  The Doc, a home care nurse (two dates in now…blog coming perhaps), and now a surgeon.  Strange? Hmm. Maybe.

Regardless, I must let you know about Mr. Surgeon, a new prospect I met this week on OkCupid.  Here’s why he’s blog-worthy.

If you’ve any experience with online dating, you know that it’s a crap shoot.  There are literally millions of singles online.  A good handful of those aren’t real, and the vast majority of them are at least PARTLY fictional.  People tend to lie and/or stretch the truth about their age, height, weight, career, hobbies (would everyone stop tying to pose as a world traveler? Please, Jacque Cousteau, you really don’t travel that much.)

So when I see a profile that has outrageous claims, immaculate pics and a lengthy description filled out for each section of his profile that’s also 99% free of any grammar or writing errors, too?!?!?!, I immediately put up skeptical antennas.

So I come across Mr. Ab-City Surgeon recently, who earned this name due to one of his pics in a Halloween costume.  He’s wearing a bow-tie and cuffs, sunglasses, pants and Calvin Klein underwear, which I can see the tops of because he WASN’T WEARING A SHIRT!

He was, however, wearing his abs, and the definition was pretty ridiculous. No shirt needed.

It immediately reminded me I had to do laundry.

Now, again, I’ve seen plenty of washboards in my day, but this guy was also donning a big, bright smile.  My weakness. I LOVE happy people.

I further flip through his pics and see him (with clothes) in scenes at the beach (ok, well, he did have his shirt off there, too), a few with his gorgeous chocolate labrador, one flexing on some rocks by the ocean (hello, biceps, too), and one of my favorites – him scaling a glacier. Sure, why not.

But that was all just icing on the cake, really.

I skip to read his thoroughly well-thought-out profile and it only gets better.

He’s a surgeon.

And a personal trainer.

And a volunteer.

And wants to start a business.

And a Christian.

And…totally cute, and funny, and charming, and HAS TO BE FAKE.

I mean, come ON!

I’m so intrigued and fascinated that I decide to send him a message.

Typically, I will view a profile and see if the guy checks me out in return (they’re notified).  And if he does, I let him decide to send me a note or not.

However, there are the rare few who inspire me to write something clever and witty, in hopes of sparking a conversation.

That’s it.  Mr. Ab-City Surgeon was getting a message.

Here’s exactly what I wrote him:

“(insert his name he left in his profile)…

Your profile can’t be real….lol!

I’ve seen a lot of online dating profiles and yours is pretty outstanding. It started with your adorable dog, then the Instagram pics that’d make most pro photogs jealous, then the line of “…Although I love doing surgeries…”, followed by the abs and bowtie, glacier climbing and “Christianity and very serious about it.”

I mean, really? You’re a total catch! If you’re trying to destroy that already high bar of expectations women have in LA, you did it with flying colors. Very nicely done, sir. 🙂

Please tell me you’re single because your awesome life simply doesn’t allow you time to find an awesome woman counterpart (which is prob why you’re here on OKC). THAT I would believe.

Regardless, it’d be great to get to know you if you’re interested.

Cheers and best of luck in your search!”

And off I sent it.  Into the ethers of OkCupid and the Internet to see if the man would:

A.) look at my profile, and
B) respond.

I gave it a 20% chance that he’d respond.  I know this “type.”  He hadn’t been online in a few days, so I knew he wasn’t active.

I was so impressed by this dude that I posted about it on Facebook. (Hello to my friends who I’m connected with there and saw that post!) I asked them when they thought he’d respond.

And one of my girlfriends predicted three days…and wouldn’t ya know it? THREE DAY LATER, he responds to my message!

HOLY EXPLETIVE!

I about lost my mind when I saw the blue, blinking notification come across my phone.  “New Message” on OkCupid from (insert his profile name).

After I got done flipping my s*** for a good two minutes, screaming and freaking out, I regained composure and checked his message.

Much to my surprise, not only did he respond, but it was the beginnings of a legit conversation!

He said:

“LOL! You’re too funny, (insert my name here)…and yes, my profile is very real 🙂

I actually joined okc a few years ago after a friend of mine encouraged me to, then I got tired of it so I took a break from it for a while. My work/projects have definitely contributed to my single status but mostly I just haven’t quite crossed paths with the “right one” yet. I’d be lying though if I said that I didn’t appreciate having my “Single” card. Ha! How long have you been in LA?

– C”

And there ya have it.

I responded accordingly, stating that I was glad to know I made him laugh….and that he’s the real deal.  I replied with a few other questions and sent it off.

So now we wait, some more.

Either he’ll never respond again, he’ll respond with a few more questions and eventually want my number to talk and/or meet up, or we’ll get married.

Statistics say it’ll land somewhere in the middle and I’m going in with zero expectations, as I do with every new introduction I make.

I’ll be sure to keep you posted on this one.

That’d be hilarious if he was a heart surgeon.

The shenanigans continue…