My Date with the Mattress Expert

There are certain things that a single woman might have to do that would be WAY better to do with a man. Like shopping for a new mattress.

But, alas, until Mr. Right shows up, I get to enjoy awkward tasks like this one by my lonesome.

I need a new bed. I’m moving and had been borrowing one, so I need to buy the whole thing – mattress, box spring, frame, the actual bed, too. Ugh. A necessary evil. However, I DO prefer a bed to sleeping on the floor and I’m kinda excited to make my first ever grown up mattress purchase.

Not really knowing how or where to get started or more importantly, how to buy the right one, I started looking online. I also looked at IKEA on a first date. I asked my friends on Facebook.

Temperpedic. Sleep numbers. Memory foam. Memory foam with gel. Pillowtop. Body forming. Firm, extra firm, extra soft. And on and on.

Mattress shopping is freaking overwhelming! There are just as many choices of different types of mattresses as there are single men in Los Angeles, I swear.

So one of my gfs tells me to Yelp this place near me and go check it out. It’s close by, and since I cancelled my date tonight because a bed is kinda more important right now, I made my way over to the mattress store.

It’s Sunday, it’s in the evening, and about an hour before closing. I walk in and there’s just one guy there.

Oh, great. It’s me, this dude, and a ton of beds that I’m assuming I’m going to have to lay on for him. That’s not awkward at all.

He’s my age, super friendly and turns red in the face during moments when we talk.

He’s very helpful and starts telling me how the industry has changed over the years and how old, metal coils are out and how new fancy solutions are in. He’s showing me an example of a bed cut out, fancy springs and all.

Cool. I’m learning something. But I knew the weird part was coming next.

“What kind of sleeper are you?”

Ummm…. a good one?

Oh. I figure out what he means when he grabs a cardboard diagram of a person’s back. I’m a side-sleeper. (So is he.)

He asks a few more questions and then says what I was dreading.

“Ok, let’s start with these three. This one is the firmest and it goes up from there. Go for it. Start with this one here. ”

He points to the bed we’re standing next to and I awkwardly get on the bed and lay down. First on my back, then I switch over to my side.

I can’t concentrate on what it feels like because it feels like I’m a single woman in a huge mattress store with a dude watching me lay on a bed! I totally felt safe because the whole front of the store was windows, but still.  Am I wrong to feel some sort of sexual tension in this situation?

It was weird. He walks a few beds over to his desk to grab his drink while I lay there all awkward. He’s still talking casually about the differences and yada yada this and that, but I think he was trying to give me space to make it a bit less awkward.

I wonder what chapter this is in during Mattress Expert training:

“How to Sell a Mattress to a Single Woman While Being the Only Guy on Duty Without Looking Like You Want to Join Her: Part One.”

Luckily, he was really cool and laid back and that helped ease my weirdness, but still…

Imagine making eye contact with a guy while laying in bed and you’ve only known him for ten minutes. Weird!

But after that one, he had me move to the next. And so on and so on. This went on for about 20 minutes, while we narrowed down what I was loving or not loving so much.

He did really know his stuff.

Most of the awkwardness had faded by this point, and thank goodness I’m a pretty confident chick, otherwise I don’t know what I would have done. My hourglass shape is quite the hourglass when flipped on its side, laying down. Add that to him and I locking eyes while he checks out my hips, spine and posture to make sure I’m aligned…yeah, not awkward at all. I was just hoping I left my bedroom eyes Mr. Armani saw the other day at home! Hopefully the bright florescent store lights didn’t make my baby blues at all interesting.

In the end, I think I figure out what I want and he tells me he’ll give me an awesome deal on it. We talk a bit more about the price, manufacturer, how and where they make it, when it’d be delivered, etc, then he hands me his card, shakes my hand… No, wait, correction, he HOLDS my hand for an extra long second, and asks my name. I give it to him, grateful he didn’t know it during that whole process cuz that would have made things reallllly personal.

He thanks me for coming in and for “keeping him company” on such a lonely Sunday night. He’s laughing, of course, and it’s cute.

I thank him for his help and tell him I’ll give him a call to figure everything out this week.

Oy. Single girl shenanigans, indeed.

The good news? Once I buy it, the three people who’ll be sleeping in it will love my bed. Yes. Me, myself, and I shall get much needed rest from all these shenanigans. 🙂


I’m a Sucker For a Suit

Last night I was invited to a fashion show. My friend’s clothing line for kids was being featured on the runway and she offered me a ticket.

The show was great and afterwards we mingled with others at the VIP cocktail reception.

My friend introduces me to two gentleman she had met earlier – both wearing suits.

Now in LA, it’s RARE to see a man in a suit. The lifestyle is so casual here that it’s not unusual to see someone in jeans on the red carpet. Dressing up is an exception in Los Angeles so I looooooove seeing a man in a suit. (Blame my lawyer ex-husband who got me hooked on picking out ties. My weakness.)

In LA,  if a guy’s in a suit, he’s either a banker, a lawyer or lives in Beverly Hills. Just my experience. 🙂

Sure enough, this one guy I had my eye on lives in Beverly Bills.

We chat, we flirt, we play the “guess my age” game with all four of us and then clink our glasses together to “cheers” to us all looking wayyyyyy younger than our actual ages. Thank you, Mom and Dad, for the good genes.

I’m loving that this one guy is 49, but looks and acts like he’s in his 30s.  I love he’s from the Dominican Republic but raised in New York and an NYU grad.  Oh. And that he’s wearing a suit and tie ensemble that probably cost that of a good mortgage payment. I’m not mad.

My friend tells the two guys what I do for a living and Mr. Armani asks me if I also freelance on the side. I tell him I do sometimes and he wants my card. Awesome. He gives me his.

We talk more about us both being single parents, how much we love our kids and what position my son plays in football.

The time passes, we’re having great banter and we kinda drift a few feet over to have a more private conversation. He tells me stories of what REALLY happened with Kobe Bryant and his scandal,  what his famous actor friend (who he won’t share his name) gave him for his 47th birthday, and a few of the film and charity projects he’s involved in.  So Hollywood.

We’re chatting and laughing away and then the shocking moment of the night happens. He says something about being in trouble as a kid and I laugh and say I was grounded my whole childhood, too. He just looks at me and says, “I know you were.”

Um, excuse me? You weren’t there. How did you know that? We just met! What the what?

He answers, “OH, come on. You’re a rebel. It’s all in your eyes…..”

Dang! I’m so busted here, because it’s partly true, although I’ve been playing the professional, classy woman role all night. People tell me all the time I have these eyes…but how do they see this stuff??

I’m literally shocked, and smiling, ask how he could possibly know that (all the while maintaining my innocence).

“Please, I read you like a book right away. What’s that line in Jerry Maguire?…. Oh yeah, you had me at hello.” 🙂

I’m now blushing yet intrigued and luckily his friend walks over to say he’s got to get going.

Mr. Armani and him came together so he gives me a hug and asks what I’m doing this weekend. He tells me we should get together, and since I live just down the street from him it’d be easy to do. He tells me his travel plans for the next week and says we’ll figure something out. I tell him that’d be great. And they head out.

So now I wait for him to be a man and make a move. Yes, I’ll wait – not with baited breath, but with a vision of me strolling through his walk-in closet….full of ties. 🙂

First I Got Naked, Then I Got Nailed…

Well here’s another “first” for the books! Check out my date…

Since both of the guys I’ve been dating most recently were having guy’s night outs with their friends to watch some big boxing fight (boring, dumb, too violent but do your thing, boyz!), today was some more “me-time.”  (In case you’re just joining the blog, I’m dating myself, too.)

Not sure what I was going to do, so I was SO excited to have been invited somewhere new by one of my girls and her girlfriend.  Miss “E”, Miss “K” and I got up early Saturday morning to head to their favorite….Korean Spa! Yes, that’s right! Where you’re REQUIRED to strip down to your birthday suit to enjoy the facilities.  Let the nakedness with people you know (as well as complete strangers) begin!

Side note: For those of you who were expecting something a little more raunchy based on my blog post title, sorry for the letdown.  That story is on my OTHER blog.  Kidding.  Maybe.

For those of you who are still interested in reading, hello.  Allow me to explain my first Korean Spa experience. 🙂

First of all, they don’t have these back in IL where I’m from (or if they do, I never saw one tucked away in a cornfield somewhere).  In general terms, it’s a day of heaven on earth without breaking the bank.  It’s a place to come relax in several different saunas, steam rooms, hot tubs, even HOTTER tubs, cold baths and more.  You can indulge in extra services such as a massage, body scrub, manicure/pedicure or even get your hair did.

There’s a restaurant, a floor for just women, one for just men, and one for co-ed.  This particular Spa also had a nice rooftop deck, with views of downtown Los Angeles.

You can find a comfy mat to lay on in the dark, quiet “nap” room and then actually fall asleep.  Like kids do.  Except you’re an adult.  It’s totally cool and nobody looks at you weird.   I actually tried it, but couldn’t relax enough so I just laid there and Facebooked with friends on my phone.  (I was a bit jealous that Miss “E” went in and just knocked out, as we say.  She’s a pro, though, and has been here several times.  Remember, I was a Korean Spa virgin!)

I’m constantly being told that I work too much and don’t relax enough.  My mind is always working, and with a career based on the Internet, I never truly stop, so it was nice to try and detach for several hours.  I even left my cell phone in my locker during parts of the visit!

So here was our day:

After we first arrived, we all changed.  They got naked, but I got into my robe.  Remember – it’s my first time.  It felt weird and I had to ease into it.  I’m a pretty confident chick, no matter what my size is, but this was a tad uncomfortable at first.

Almost naked.

We kind of went separate directions because we each had set up appointments for services.  But then it came time.


I hit the hot tub with other naked ladies, then had some nice Korean lady in a black bra and panty “outfit” come get me for my body scrub and massage.

She spoke little English, but she managed to understand my sheepish smile and the “It’s my first time” sentence.   She smiled back and pointed to the table where I was to lay face down.  The next 90 minutes were amazing.

Scrub, scrub, scrub, rinse, “turn ova”, “turn on side”, scrub, scrub, scrub, “go showa…wash face…come back”, more scrubbing, then….CUCUMBERS! She applied this mushy stuff on my face.  I couldn’t see b/c of the towel she’d place on my eyes but I will always recognize cucumber! (My parents have a farm with a huge garden.  They grow a ton of these.)

A nice facial, too? DEAL.  It felt amazing, and then she even washed my hair.

So after she removed a good 19 layers of my epidermus along with my facial, she gave me a massage.

I’m a pretty big wuss when it comes to massages, and this wasn’t even a Thai or Deep Tissue massage, but I cringed through most of it while I kept telling my muscles to ‘take it like a man!’ Or, woman, in this case.

At one point, she smacked the back of my calf gently and said, “Relax!”

Dude, I’m trying here.

Guess I should get massages more often?

Anyhow, after the treatment was over, I felt brand new.   Amazing!

Then it was time for my manicure appointment.  She did such a good job that my girls thought my nails were fake.  They’re totally real!

Nailed. French-style.

It was then time for lunch.  We got dressed in the shorts and tshirt (sans bra…again, weird) they give you and walked up to the restaurant.  I ordered things I don’t usually order.  I had something Korean that was delicious.  And BOBA.  Google it, if you don’t know. Yum.

After lunch, we ventured into the different co-ed saunas.  My favorites were laying on clay pebbles in a heated room, the “ice box” sauna at 41 degrees and strangely enough – 2 minutes of sitting inside a 211-degree hut.  OMG.  Intensely hot.

By this time we had been there for several hours, so they took showers and then got all dressed and cute.   We hugged, and then they headed home.  I had driven separately and had brought my laptop and some work stuff to do, so I was planning to set up shop somewhere after they left.  But I wasn’t quite done with all the spa shenanigans! I was kinda digging it.

Since I was back downstairs in the women’s spa, I stripped down again.

At this point, I’m super comfortable.  There are many different size, shapes, ages and nationalities here.  It was nice to see and not at all like what you’d think an “LA experience” would give you.

My curves and I rinsed down, then jumped back into the hot tub with more naked ladies.  It was super relaxing and afterwards, I think I took the longest shower of my life.  Next to other naked ladies.  (get the picture yet?)

After that, it was time to work.  I got dressed and journeyed up to the roof to read a script for work.  SO relaxing!

Working on a Saturday and totally ok with that.

Came back down and then headed out to enjoy the rest of my evening.

So there ya have it! My first Korean Spa experience.  Huge thanks to Miss “E” who invited me to join in.

I’ll definitely be back.  With my birthday suit and all. 🙂

I’m Dating Myself, Too

One of the things you hear every love, dating, and relationship guru say is that if you don’t love yourself FIRST, how could someone else love you? Or something along those lines.  It sounds kinda sad and desperate, but in reality it’s actually a really important point.

As much as an extroverted outgoing social butterfly I can be, I also enjoy my “me time.” Unless I have set plans with friends, or a date, I prefer to chill on my own.  I don’t ALWAYS need to be with other people to feel fulfilled.  It’s a great time to decompress, unwind and reflect.

This weekend I decided to launch my dating blog.  I knew I wanted to take my laptop somewhere with a great vibe to set it up in.  I was feeling inspired and excited! Maybe up the street to a fabulously swanky rooftop hotel on Sunset Blvd? Somewhere close where I could feel the afternoon sun on my face, while a gentle LA breeze kissed my cheek?

After debating for awhile, I ended up making a last minute decision to jump in my car and take a mini road-trip.  I left the hustle and bustle of Los Angeles and drove south to Rancho Palos Verdes, where a piece of heaven on earth secretly hides away from those who don’t know about it.

I arrived at Terranea Resort, a gorgeous place with private villas and high-end dining sprawling out over acres and acres of manicured lawns, oceans views and cliffs below.  A place I’ve been to before by myself and with a friend, and a place I’m dying to spend a weekend with someone special.  Who and when? Great question. Until then, I’m fine just enjoying its beauty.

I grabbed my blanket out of the trunk, my laptop, my Bose headphones (that a guy I’m currently dating let me borrow…so sweet), an Architectural Digest and my phone and hiked down to the beach.

I found a perfect spot, close to the water.  Two hours of bliss followed.

Life is good.

There is nothing like the sound of the waves crashing against the shore.  NOTHING.

Side note: There were tourists that came by throughout my time there.  Lots of pictures were taken, kids were playing, crazy men jumped into the freezing cold Pacific while their wives laughed at them and smiled, etc.  I caught two Australian guys near me who were in their late 20s probably.  Guess what they were talking about? Dating and relationships, and what the one guy should do about the girl he’s been seeing for a bit.

Love.  It’s universal. 🙂