My dating profile is currently on Plenty of Fish and eHarmony. I recently deleted OkCupid after what seemed like an eternity.
So I’m in Hollywood yesterday on my way to a burlesque workshop (oh yes…it was so fun). I pull into a nearby parking structure packed with cars. A tall guy with glasses working security helped guide me to a space then walked away.
I park and start walking towards the elevators. I see him standing there watching me walk.
“Culver City,” he says.
I’m confused. Who’s he talking to?
He says again, “Culver City.”
Ok, what the heck?? I think he’s definitely talking to me because there’s no one else around so I stop.
“Culver City…what?” I ask, half-smiling, half-annoyed cuz I’m gonna be late, thanks to the extra traffic from shutting down Hollywood Blvd for the world premiere and red carpet of the new “Star Wars.”
Culver City. Hmmm. I know it’s a nearby city but I have no connection to it.
“I know you. We met on OkCupid. You stopped talking to me.”
A moment of panic sets in and I’m SO confused.
I don’t live in Culver City.
Also, I have NO recollection of who this dude is.
I’m trapped in a garage with this dude who’s pretty damn confident he knows me and wants to not let me off the hook here.
I’m now 5 minutes late to burlesque class.
“I don’t live in Culver City…” I say.
I’m now trying to figure out if this guy with possible Tourette’s syndrome is making it up and using it as a pickup line or what!
Then he says, “You’re a Director of something…”
I’m clear that I list my job title on dating profiles.
“Director of Social Media?” I question him, regretting possibly giving him too much info already.
He quickly responds, “Yep. That’s it.” “You and I were talking and you just stopped.”
Welcome to online dating. Unless I’m feeling someone pretty quickly based on their profile info, pics and any initial chatting/messages on the site, I tend to ghost someone.
Ghosting: The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date.
It was a mild case, however, because we never actually spoke.
Well now that he’s in front of me I’m not sure what to do. I’m totally caught off guard and still can’t remember him for the life of me. But honestly I’m more impressed with this guy’s ability to so quickly identify me – and in a dark garage, through the window of my car. Wow.
At least my pictures online represent me well in person!
“Dang! How’d you recognize me to fast? We’ve never met,” I say.
He smiles, “I just have that gift. I never forget a face. My mom says I should work for the FBI…lol.”
I smile, nervously now cuz this dude kinda freaked me out. Bonus points on being so attentive.
He goes on to tell me he wants to become a cop (and I take away the bonus points I just gave him…I can’t picture myself with another person in that field.)
I’m still not sure what to do and I’m racking my brain the whole time to try and remember SOMETHING about this guy.
I ask him, “Wait…what’s your screen name?”
“Oh, wait. Not OkCupid. It was Plenty of Fish,” he recalls.
Welcome further to online dating. Many people use multiple dating sites. Better odds, I guess.
I tell him I’m sorry I can’t remember but that I’m late to go grind on a chair at a dance studio.
Ok, I didn’t say that. I told him I had an appointment to run to. I tell him to message me on POF in an attempt to deflect and move on my way.
“Why don’t I just give you my number???” He asks in a very straightforward way.
In situations like this, I’m so polite and don’t want to be rude. He “pitches me” and says he’s not who his profile is. He’s…better. He’s himself.
I can tell he’s trying to win my digits so I half-willingly send him a text and then say bye and quickly scurry on my way to the elevator.
As I walk to my appointment I realize how small the city of Los Angeles really is.
The dude spotted me in a parking garage! In Hollywood where there are a million people everywhere! Crazy. This makes me wonder what it’ll be like when I hit a higher public profile (it’s coming…I can feel it.)
I let it go and get to burlesque class and forget about it.
And then later that night, I get this:
I haven’t responded.
I’m not sure how compatible I am with a security guard, as ambition and career path tend to be at the top of the list for my ideal match.
I’m talking to several people right now (nothing serious yet), and have a first date tonight with an engineer I met on eHarmony. Mr. FBI came off as a little awkward and although he was kinda cute (kinda cute), I didn’t have any real sparks go off.
What or how should I respond to this guy? I don’t want to leave him hanging but not sure what to say or do here.