UpDATE: Meet Mr. Birmingham – Part One

Okcupid has been working overtime for me lately.

After a pretty decent break of being on it (and instead, focusing on Tinder’s shenanigans) I logged back in about two weeks ago to peep the scene and check a few messages.

I noticed a guy from Alabama had viewed my profile and the bow tie he was wearing in his profile pic was enough to get me to click through to check out his whole profile.

He has style. Nice.

The fascination had just begun.

The first line of his bio states that he’s a “confident, established, successful gentleman.”

Now that’s all relative, as I’ve learned through previous situations, but I’m curious to learn more, and am definitely looking for someone who’s more established than not.

I skim his profile and it leaves other  nuggets in there for me that I love, like that he’s a “relationship guy…who prefers to only date one woman at a time ..sorry if that offends anyone….”

Well, what the what?!


No, charmed.  More guys in LA need to adopt this concept.


He’s an “engineer by trade, but a writer by heart.”

We’re already similar in that we’re both 50/50 right-brain/left-brain.  Nice!

Then it says he’s in the process of relocating to LA.

I wonder if he’s been here already and that this profile is old, but I send him a message saying. ..

“I’m the best tour guide you could ask for in LA, if you’re looking for one!”

He responds back,

“I was hoping you’d say that…!”

We exchange a few messages back and forth.  He says he’s arriving to LA on Thursday and that I should contact him then.

We’re both excited to meet each other!

The days go by and we text and play phone tag until we finally have a chance to connect on Sunday.  He’d been here a few days already.

I reach him on the phone while driving to my gf ‘s birthday party.

He totally has an accent! A true Southern Gent, born and raised in Alabama. Refined, and I love it.

We talk about things we like and don’t like and we learn we have a bunch of things in common already. Hmmm, interesting!

I don’t really have any friends from the South here in LA, so this is different for me. All I know is that everyone there is friendly, polite, takes their time and loves good food. Kinda like the Midwest where I’m from, I guess. 🙂 Fun!

We’re both available later that evening and I make plans to pick him up.  He’s staying at the Hyatt Regency until he buys a house, and won’t get his two cars (yes, TWO cars) delivered here until Monday, so I arrive.

I call him and he says he’s walking out.

Soon I see a man in a light-colored, striped seersucker suit on the phone, walking towards me.

Yes, folks. Seersucker.  The South is alive and well.

We hang up and I get out to hug him hello. He cleans up nicely, and can totally pull it off. I learn he’s always styling.

We get in my car and he’s kinda quiet, and chuckling.

I ask him what’s up. He says,

“We drive the same car.”


Haha…yes. Apparently we have matching BMWs, except his is white and mine is black.

“I’m walking up to your car thinking,  ‘This woman is not driving my car…’lol….”

We add this to our already long list of things we have in common. 🙂

We take a 4 minute ride over to Beverly Hills and to one of my favorite spots for great first date drinks, The Peninsula. I already knew he’d love the vibe.

We pull up to valet, amongst several Bentleys, Rolls Royces, an Audi R8, and more. I love this place.

the peninsula beverly hills

We head to the very fancy lounge and sat down to talk and have some wine.

He’s very calm. Confident.  Refined.

And totally wearing seersucker!

I’m quite intrigued by this man, and I know the evening is about to get interesting.  This is not an ordinary guy…

To be continued….

I Am Absolutely Certain, Without a Doubt, That “The Doc” Loves Me! I Think…

(Head-up….this was from a draft I had written a long time ago but never published.  The below story happened in MAY! Much has happened with The Doc and I since, but I had to get you caught up on a very important evening…)


I saw The Doc again.

I debated writing this blog because whatever unfolds from our interactions is always SO REAL and SO DEEP that it’s almost too hard to write about. But nonetheless…

It’d been a few months since we last saw each other.  That was after I politely told him to stop contacting me.  His random messages of “What’s up babe?” on any given Wednesday but with no follow through or plans to see me was too much for me to handle, so I thought “Outta sight, outta mind” should do the trick.  I needed to move on.  He had politely agreed, and didn’t argue.

For two months straight I tried my best to forget about him.

I failed miserably.

The Doc is EVERYWHERE and never far from my mind, as hard as I try:

I drive past a hospital or pharmacy – I think of him.

I hear a reference to Belize – I think of him.

Someone plays a reggae song – I think of him.

I travel to Terranea Resort – I think of him.

I meet someone from USC – I think of him.

I’m breathing – I think of him.

See? Bad.  I’d want to reach out but never did.

But then I got this freaking kidney stone thing that landed me in the ER and the whole fiasco really, really made me miss him.  And it gave me a really, really good reason to reach out to him.

So, naturally, I did.

I emailed him, gave him a quick run down of what landed me in the hospital, and told him I’d love his feedback and opinion on whether or not I should take these two prescriptions they gave me. (I hate taking pills, if I can help it.)

He emailed back right away and said he was leaving for the airport for a meeting but that he’d call me when he got back later that night.

He did call.

He was meeting his boys to play basketball so he only had a few minutes, but he gave me great feedback and said we’d catch up more later.

A few text convos and a week or so later happened.

Fast forward…

It was Saturday and I was looking forward to a second date I had planned with Mr. Marketing.  As much as The Doc is…well, my unavailable soulmate in scrubs, I am also a very realistic person and am seeing and meeting other great guys.

Unfortunately, Mr. Marketing cancelled our plans due to family stuff that afternoon. Jerk! Dang it!

I was bummed.  Kinda sad, actually.  And I hate getting cancelled on last minute.

Actually, I’m being dramatic.  For two seconds I was sad.

I read his cancellation text and then immediately text The Doc.

“Happy Saturday!”

He responds right back.

“Happy Saturday to you, too, sexy lady.  What’s up on your side?”


I already knew two things:

1. He wanted to see me.

2.  He wasn’t busy that night.

Sure enough, I was right.  I really know this man.

Later that night, I brought myself and a tasty 2009 Cabernet Sauvignon over to his place.


I pull into his garage and recall how perfect our cars fit in there next to each other.  He’s in there doing laundry, which I can say is probably even MORE perfect of a scenario.

He gives me a huge, big hug and kiss on the neck.  His smile is enormous.  I’m sure mine’s bigger.  I’m SO excited to see him.

We make our way upstairs and he breaks open the wine.

The mood is light, flirtacious, fun.  It’s us.  It’s always exciting and we both haven’t stopped smiling or laughing for a good 10 minutes now.

He asks me what happened to my plans that night and I tell him (vaguely) that “…people cancelled and wanted to re-schedule…”

“People?” he asks, coyly, as he smiles a knowing smile.

“Ok,” I say. “One person in particular.”

I shake my head, he smiles, and we both know there are others involved here but that it was working out for the better with the two of us right in this moment.

I’ve always loved our honesty.

We catch up.  He tells me I look good, despite the kidney stone nonsense, and I get scolded for not drinking enough water.  He’s always giving me loving medical advice.

He tells me his cousin says hi.
I want to tell him to give his cousin my number so i can tell him to knock some sense into The Doc and wake up and smell the coffee here and realize I’m the perfect woman for him, but I don’t.  I just smile and think it’s special he mentioned that.

And then he tells me that he’s looking to buy another house in Belize.

“What?!?!” I shrieked.

To catch you up on something – he was against another bidder on a property there about 6 months ago, but he lost.  When he called me to tell me that he didn’t get it, I told him he lost that house because of fate.  I wasn’t in on it with him, and that we should buy our dream house there together. I was half-serious, and I’m sure he thought it was cute.

I told him I didn’t want to hear about this new one.

“Why not?” he asks.  “Because you’re not in on it with me?” He smiles.

Ah ha! He remembered.

Honestly, I can see this picture of us living in paradise painted so clearly in my head that I don’t want to hear about it unless it’s going to happen. So I ask him one question:

“You can tell me about it but ONLY if the answer to this question is “yes”…

“Ok, shoot,” he says.

“Will I ever see this house with my own eyes?”

And without missing a beat, he says, “Sure! Why not?”

I get all serious and say, “Yeah, ok. Whatever.  I don’t invite myself to places that I’m not wanted…”

He corrects me.  He’s serious, too.  “You’re here now, aren’t you?”

We’ll see.

Anyways, he tells me about this amaaazing property on the tropical blue waters of the Caribbean Sea.  I picture him, me and a hammock and I go into dreamland again.  This fairy tale is amazing, isn’t it?

Back to reality…

We talk for another hour cuddled up on the love seat, have the TV on in the background, laugh, catch up on work and careers, and finish the bottle of wine.

It’s getting late now.  Time to go to sleep.

We head upstairs, a now familiar trek. I mean, we’ve known each other for awhile now.

Sorry to let down you about any juicy, racy, sexy details, but the rest of the night is literally a PG situation – we sleep/cuddle and nothing else.  About 90% of the night he’s spooning me.  He’s even affectionate in his sleep! Perfection.

I wake up early in the AM to the sound of my phone buzzing.  It’s a new message on OkCupid.

The Doc is turned over and snoring.

I check it, cuz, hey why not.

Side note: At this point, for those of you following this never-ending love story of The Doc and I who are all like, “What the heck is she doing?? Why’s she holding out for this dude? He’s clearly not into her the same way…” Well, just hold it one hot second.

I’m not in my 20s anymore.  I’ve worked in the dating and relationship space for years and know many former clients or friends who are relationship experts, authors, speakers, therapists and more.  I’ve learned a ton and feel pretty healthy in my choices.

Besides, if I WAS all into him (and only into him) I wouldn’t have been excited to check my dating app notifications while snuggled under his 1200 thread-count sheets while he slept beside me.  🙂 I’m optimistic, yet realistic.  Big difference.

I check the message.  It’s from a new guy.  Cool.

I also check my texts.  More late night messages from others who are pursuing me.  Cool, but I don’t respond.

The Doc is still sleeping but I do kinda have a guilty conscience so I put my phone back on the bedside table.  They all can wait.

I’m fully awake now and it’s about 8am on a Sunday.  No going back to sleep for me, so I lay there and look around.  His master bedroom suite is so familiar to me and I’m always amazed at how neat and orderly it is.

The pile of books on his bedside table include “The 5 Love Languages” and “What On Earth Am I Here For?” by Rick Warren.

I know what he’s here for!!!!

Unbeknownst to him, the answer is clearly for him to find me, fall in love and live happily ever after.

I’m WISHING that it said that on page 42 or something and all he’d have to do is stumble across it eventually.

But it doesn’t, so I’m left to let the Big Man Upstairs handle the timing or outcome on this one.

An hour or so passes by and FINALLY he stirs awake.

He leans over and kisses me gently on my head.

“Good morning.”

I smile.

I tell him “Hi…” and that I should get going soon.

Honestly, I have no plans, but never want to overstay my welcome, and also I recall him saying he had plans to meet his mom for lunch. #perfectson

But I did not expect what would happen next to happen.

For the next THREE HOURS, we laid in bed and talked.
(TALKED, people! I swear to goodness.)

He didn’t want me going anywhere.  I was officially trapped on this cloud.

But seriously, the stuff we talked about was deep.  It was real.

Real deep.

It didn’t start off that way.  In fact, it was our usual catching up conversations.

Conversations that couples have on lazy Sunday mornings who are conquering life together, as a team.

He caught me up on his work, his less-than-amazing boss, his recent accomplishments and his busy travel schedule lately.  Meetings, conferences, speaking engagements. He’s killing it out there.

I’m so proud of this guy.  He’s a star at his company and is looked to for knowledge and expertise that guys 20 years older don’t have.  His intelligence, drive and ambition is one of the most sexy things about him to me.

The hours tick by and we’re still cuddling and talking in bed.

We’re both in the comfortable space we’ve become accustomed to.  He stops for a moment, kissses my forehead and says..

“Hey.  Don’t ever stop talking to me like you did again, ok?”

He’s kinda sad, definitely serious.

The Doc has actually communicated something that he wants from me.  Fascinating.

I feel bad now that I did spend the last few months ignoring him and cutting off all communication.  I guess the guy noticed.

I agree and tell him I’m sorry and then tell him that as hard as I FRICKIN’ TRIED, I couldn’t stop thinking about him during that time anyways.  My plan had backfired.

Then The Doc tells me I’m never far from his mind.  He’s always thinking of me and praying for me and wishing me the best.  Always.

Well, dangnabit.  I had no idea.

We end up basically professing love for each other.

Not the “Let’s-get-married-tomorrow” kind of love, but the “We-really-care-about-the-lives-of-each-other-here” kind of love.  It’s one I’ve not ever experienced.

And yes, it’s not the one I’m exactly looking for, either.

I do feel amazing, however, and protected and special, and….loved, in this moment.  I try to hold onto it for as long as possible, knowing that as soon as I get up out from under the crisp white down comforter we share, it’ll be back to reality.

And back to my OkCupid and Tinder messages.

Strangely enough, I’ve come to appreciate both situations.

We spend a bit more time together in bed (still only a PG situation) and then it’s time for me to leave.

As I head to my car in his garage, we’re both smiling.  He kisses me one last time, gives me another big hug and I’m on my way.

I drive all the way home with a smile….and a peace in my heart.


Tinder: Crash and Burn 101


In case you either live under a rock or are married (both are perfectly fine), there’s this new dating app called, Tinder.  It runs strictly on your smartphone.

I think they called it “Tinder” because the idea is to set your love life up in flames as quickly as possible.

Let me explain.

Known as the “hook up” site and a reputation for quick, meaningless connections within a few miles of where you’re currently located, Tinder requires less effort than blinking your eyes and about 2 brain cells to determine whether the “match” displayed on your screen is someone you want to like or not.

If you like their pic and have read their short bio (if they’ve even written one), you take your thumb and swipe right on their pic to let them know you’re interested. (For the uber curious, you can click to see up to 5 total pics…if they’ve actually uploaded them.)

If they’ve already done that same “swipe right” process after seeing your profile, BADABOOM! You’re a MATCH! Cupid can go back to sleep now and your hot and heavy adventure can begin.

Given my extensive knowledge and current practice using other dating apps, I’d say this one’s at the bottom of the spectrum in terms of finding someone amazing, who’s also truly looking for a long-term relationship.

Except for this guy I met on Tinder last Friday who I’ll probably marry….

But more on that later. 🙂

Let the Shenanigans Begin. (Again.) An Update For You – Summer 2014

For those of you new to my dating blog, welcome! Start from the first post and work your way back to here.  You’ll be more entertained and filled-in on the cast of characters. 🙂

To my loyal readers (Hi! I love you guys), three things happened since the last post:

1.  I turned 34.  Yay! Or, not.  But either way, I now need to update my blog’s subtitle to more accurately say, “The journey of a 34-year-old’s dating escapades in Los Angeles.”

2.  After a 2 month break, Shenanigans Mode has been switched to “ON” again.

Not only am I searching for the heart of a really awesome guy, I make sure to KEEP the heart of one already awesome little gentleman, my son.  As a divorced single mom who shares custody with my ex-husband, my time spent with him is super important.  When he’s with me (ie – when school’s out….for example, summer time…) the focus is on him.  Shenanigans get put on hold. 

Now that he’s spending the rest of the summer with his dad, the shenanigans are back and in full swing.
Kudos to the few guys who managed to sneak in a few text messages back and forth, who swiped right with me on Tinder when I had two free minutes here and there, and who were super patient while I told them I wasn’t available for a few months.  More on those new players in a sec.  And, yes, I just said Tinder.  #newdatingapp #shenanigansINDEED

3.  Things happened with The Doc aka “My One-Sided Soulmate.”

In fact, they happened in May, several months ago.  Pretty interesting things and while no titles or labels have been placed on us, there were significant things said between the two of us.  I started blogging about it back then and still have most of the juicy details from a night in May when I ended up bringing a bottle of wine to his place on a Saturday night after my OKCupid date cancelled on me.  Perhaps I’ll share, perhaps I’ll just give you guys an overview in a separate post.  Not sure yet.

Regardless, he’s STILL in the picture.  Not the we-just-bought-a-house-together-in-Belize picture with us swaying in a hammock sipping cocktails with little umbrellas picture, but still.  He’s here.  In fact, we have a date set for this Thursday night, and that’s a helluva lot closer to reality than the Caribbean fantasy.  For those of you who’ve followed our journey, you’re on pins and needles, I know.

So, I’ll wrap this brief ‘lil update up with one of the best lines I’ve heard in awhile.  From a Tinder guy I’ve yet to meet, but who has been patiently waiting and VERY excited to meet me:

(on our first phone call the other day)

Him: “Wow, we’re finally talking! You’re so….elusive.”

Me: “Elusive? Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

Him: “It’s a GREAT thing! The anticipation of getting to finally talk to you over the last few weeks while your son has been here has only created more excitement for me.”

Me: “Nice! Well, I’m flattered.”

Him: “Yes, it’s true.” (he pauses) “Do you know Cirque Du Soleil?”

Me: “Of course…”

Him: “That’s what it’s like.  Those are great, awesome shows to see.  The anticipation is crazy.  That’s what it’s been like for me, waiting to finally get to talk with you! But moreso…and now we’re here!”

Me: “Wow! Umm….thank you.  Well, here we are!”

We talked for over an hour and I have to say, I’m looking forward to learning more about this guy.  I’ll be sure to keep you posted.

So, the mode is switched back “ON” and away….we….GO!!!!!


He Got Shot: My Date in the ER

There’s pros and cons to being single.

One of them is getting hooked up with one, single LA Clippers playoffs game ticket with no boyfriend to have to worry about sitting at home, sulking because his friend wasn’t the one who hooked him up. It was yours and YOU got to go.

I’ve been to several games over the years, from a great friend of mine who I met at Jamie Foxx’s Oscars party several years ago. He’s amazing and always tries to hook me up when he can. Being the sports fan that I am, I absolutely love him for that.

Last Tuesday he texts me and says he has a ticket for me at Will Call for the playoff game that night! I was stoked.

I was at work, and had felt some pretty strong cramps come on, but I wasn’t going to let silly period cramps stop me from going to the game.

I had a few other friends that were at the game that night, too, and was invited out for drinks afterwards.

I was going to tough it out.

As I got to the Staples Center downtown, my cramps got worse. I was on a mission to find some Ibuprofen and when I entered the Staples Center and asked where I could find some, they sent me to the first aid office. I went in and told them I had some really strong cramps and I was uncomfortable. They gave me stuff to tie me over. And then I went and sat in my seat to enjoy the game.

I also had a pass to go to the suite level that my friend had also hooked me up with, but by the end of the second quarter I was in so much pain still that I was on my phone on WebMD trying to figure out what the heck was going on with me.

The Clippers are playing right in front of my face and I couldn’t even concentrate. The pain was worse than ever. I had to leave.

I went back to the first aid office because I knew something was wrong.

As I walked in, with a pain-stricken face, and me clutching my side, the lady who had helped me an hour or so earlier looked concerned.

She said, “Are you okay?”

I told her the 3 pills of ibuprofen that I had taken earlier didn’t do anything to lighten up my pain, in fact it has gotten even worse.

She made me sit down. They took my vitals and she determined that it was probably something with my kidneys.

The pain got worse as I sat there.

I wanted to just go home and hoped it would go away, but she strongly urged me to go to urgent care or even, the emergency room at the nearest hospital!

Dang, yo. I guess this IS serious.

I was severely pissed off that I was missing out on watching the Clippers play, but the pain was worsening by the minute, so I asked them for directions to the nearest Hospital. They wanted to take me in an ambulance, but I thought to myself, nope! That s*** sounds expensive.  It was nearby, anyways.

I had to go get my car out of valet first, parked a few blocks away from the Staples Center. I knew that if I was at any sort of hospital it wouldn’t be a quick visit.  The last thing I needed was my car locked up or towed somewhere.

As I limped across the street, and picked up my car, and made my way to the local hospital about a mile away, it was getting even worse. Horrible, horrible pain. It felt like someone was stabbing my kidney with a knife and wouldn’t stop.

At that point I knew it was another kidney stone. I had gotten one about 10 years prior. Apparently I’m susceptible to having more, and what beautiful timing to have one happen during a LA Clippers playoff game. So not cool!

I finally made it to the ER, signed their paperwork and was in tears by this point.

As I entered the doors, I saw a world I was completely unfamiliar with.

Keep in mind that I was in downtown Los Angeles, not far from the Financial District, but not also far from Skid Row.

As I took a quick look at people sitting in chairs, I saw crack addicts, pregnant women in wheelchairs, little kids crying, and heard several languages I didn’t understand.

I, on the otherhand, had come straight from the office, and despite me grabbing my lower side, I was looking pretty fancy. My blinged-out necklace, hair and makeup done, designer bag and brand new smartphone stood out like a sore thumb.  A single white woman, looking like a lost little puppy.  Despite the crowd, I felt very alone.

Remember when I talked about the pros and cons of being single? The ticket was a great deal.

Going to the ER by myself, in terrible pain, and not 100% sure what was really, really wrong or how I’d get home? Ah, there’s the con.

However, I didn’t give a flying f*** at the moment because I was in so much pain! This was not the time to care about what others thought of me, nor me of them.

Back to the situation.

The doctors and nurses who saw my face knew I was in pain, too. I was quickly ushered in to have a seat with them, while they asked me questions like,

“Do you feel like you could harm or hurt yourself? Do you feel safe where you live? etc”

I answered their mandatory questions while I struggled to make it through the pain.

They finally administered an IV, gave me some drugs that I popped super quick, and had me lay down on a bed in the ER, which was really just a rolling cot out in the open hallway right across from nurses station where everyone was buzzing about.

It was highly entertaining, considering the circumstances. Scrubs of all colors, everywhere.

The drugs finally kicked in. I had already texted my girl who was at the game, which had just ended. She said she was on the way. Thank God! What would us single women do without our friends? I swear..

As I laid there on my bed, with a needle shoved up my arm, about 5 tubes of blood now missing, and freezing from the cold fluids that were being pumped into my body, I heard the most terrifying call come in over the loud speaker in the ER.

“We have a trauma, level 1. A GSW walk up with wounds to the upper thigh and leg. Again, this is a level 1 trauma.”

Everyone immediately started running and picked up the pace. Rubber gloves were thrown on. Masks were put over faces as people started running down the hall.

A GSW, I questioned? What’s that mean?

Oh shit! They mean “gunshot wound!”

About 15 or 20 doctors and nurses all started shuffling around me and preparing the room right behind my head from where my bed was.

I freaked.

I don’t do well with blood, and the only kind of gun I want to talk about is a Super Soaker drenching me in the middle of July at some outdoor picnic or something.

This guy was being brought in on a stretcher, and if I even saw one glimpse of him, I knew I would probably pass out from shock.

I cussed out loud, and put my hand over my face. This is not something that I was used to dealing with everyday.

Apparently they brought him in behind me and I didn’t dare look. But all the doctors who weren’t in there at the moment were waiting to go into the room, standing by my bed in the hallway.

I could hear them all talking, and even hear the victim in the room right behind me give them his name and the fact that his pain level with a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10. No kidding.

It was then that I heard something I was never going to expect.

Apparently, this dude was shot in the upper thigh.

…in his scrotum!


I immediately was grateful about how well my day had been going. No complaints here. I was super good.

An older doctor and a nurse were standing by my bed about 4 feet away. I could hear them talking, and the doctor says,

“Oh, he’ll be alright. Just shove a ping pong ball down there. He’ll be fine!”

I couldn’t believe my ears. Was he serious?! This was a very tense situation! I slowly turned my head to look in his direction.

The nurse and the doctor both looked back at me, caught, but with goofy grins plastered to their faces.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did you hear that??” He chuckles.

“Yes I did, Doc.”

I quickly realized everything was gonna be ok.

“And let me just tell you…you just reduced my stress level by tons!”

I immediately started cracking up.

Their joking continues, and the nurse chimes in and says,

“Yeah, you know what that’s called? A street vasectomy!”

We all bust up, laughing. This was now comedy hour in hospital.

I suppose in a high stress environment like that of an ER, you must learn how to outsource the stress. I think they had it down.

About 10 minutes later, all the commotion had calmed down.  Cops came in and started talking to the victim. He was stabilized and all the necessary tests had gotten underway.

My drugs were really kicking in now, and I was feeling loopy. The pain had pretty much subsided. Thank, JESUS.

My friend arrived and was ushered back to see me. After I explained to her what had happened to me, I explained to her what the heck was happening in the room behind my head. I also shared with her the jokes and I was laughing all over again. So was she.

We had to stay for a few more hours, to make sure that all the tests they needed were taken care of, and that I would have clear discharge instructions before I left as to what I needed to do if the pain started up again.

After a few selfies on my phone together, and more laughs with the people we’d gotten to know over the past few hours, I had one last consult with my doctor, signed myself out, and headed home with a prescription for some pretty strong pain meds.

I thought back to the shenanigans of the evening.  All things considered, I was grateful for so many things.

I know my future husband will be the one to carry my ass into the ER next time this happens (if it ever happens again), but as a single woman in her 30s in Los Angeles, I’d still say I felt loved and taken care of, regardless of my lonesome single status.

I’m pretty blessed to have such amazing people in my life.  And all my body parts still in tact.  🙂

upDATE: Meet “Mr. Marketing”

When you’re single and dating and looking for “the one” there are a lot of highs and low.  A LOT of disappointment (great guys, but not quite right for you…or they’re not quite ready for a relationship…have you been reading my blog? lol)

But then there’s the first dates that you REALLY look forward to.  The ones with high hopes.  The ones where your initial conversation and communication is SO GOOD, that you can’t help but have a hunch it’ll go well.

This was the case with Mr. Marketing.

About a week ago, a very fine looking gentleman wearing a dark navy suit coat with a white, slightly open buttoned-down collared shirt and sparkling brown eyes sent me the following message:

“Good Monday Morning!
I enjoyed your profile & especially the midwest values part +++
I make great conversation (talking not texting) and a excellent LA tour guide as well 🙂

– (his name)”

Well, HELLO there.  A quick look at his pics and profile – he’s looking good and he seems interesting.

It didn’t take me long to respond and we sent a few messages back and forth before exchanging numbers.

As his last message said, he’d give me a call later that night.

And he did. Wow! Someone who not only knows how to make and keep a plan to communicate, but who also knows how to use a PHONE! #shocked #itsrare

Oh, wait. He’s 43.  A real grown-up, and another huge reason why I love dating men a bit older than me.  I’m a sucker for traditional and old-fashioned.

He calls me and we have the BEST first phone conversation.

I learn that he’s sharp, witty, polite.

He has me laughing out loud a bunch, which is KEY for me.  I need someone who can make me laugh!
He asks great questions and we learn a bit about each other. 

The whole conversation lasted about 45 minutes – a hefty convo! – and he asks if I’d like to go to dinner. 

I’m clearly interested (and giddy) and we make plans for next Saturday at 1pm.

After a few check-ins and texts throughout the week, we touch base Sat AM to make more definite plans.

He agrees to come to Santa Monica where I live and I give him an address near me where we can meet.

First impression as I was walking up to him in the parking lot? OMG he’s a jungle gym and I could climb on that ALLL DAY. His arms are huge. His chest, huge.  I’m done.  Check, please, and the date hasn’t even started.

He gives me a great, big warm hug and the “First Date Nerves” begin.

He takes me to a great lunch spot about a mile away and I can already tell he’s a bit different from other guys.

As we’re led to our table, he pulls my chair out for me to be seated.  TOTAL chivalry!

Opening car doors and doors to buildings is expected, but pulling a chair out for a lady at a table and then gently sliding it under her when she sits down, is rare.  Bonus points!

We’re seated and he takes off his sunglasses for the first time.  Those eyes definitely…sparkle, and I know using that word “sparkle” sounds pretty lame for a dude, but they were really pretty.  Just had to say it.

We have an amazing lunch.

He’s so good at conversation! His questions and stories are fantastic and he’s really making an effort to get to know me better.

He asks me about my son (whom we had talked about on our first phone call), and I start telling him more about all the fun things we did on vacation a week or so ago. 

He interrupts me with a big smile and says, “Awww…there’s that ‘mom glow’ that comes out when someone talks about their baby.  Your whole face just lit up.  It’s very cute.”

I, clearly, can’t see my own face, so I was not only impressed that this man observed that detail about me, but that he made mention to tell me.  He doesn’t have kids of his own, so this made it even more special.  Very sweet. 🙂

I find out that we have SO MUCH in common.  Check this out:

We both were former iPhone lovers, turned Samsung addicts.

We both worked in the wireless industry back in the 90s.  Him for Verizon, me for US Cellular.

We both own a Marketing company.

We both are tall (him even taller than me).

We both love social media (and he’s super curious about my experience as a Social Media Manager.)

We both love the ocean and scenic trips up the coast.

We’re both great at networking and reading people.

We both have a background working in entertainment.

We both shoot “How To” videos on YouTube.

We both can’t stand little, yippy, uncontrollable dogs that incessantly bark non-stop.

And, this one kills me, we both have almost identical screen names on our OkCupid profiles.  Crazy, right?!

At one point, he says, “Wow, you’re like the same person as me, but in a different body!”

So very true and thank GOD he’s got what he’s working with, cuz I’m A-OK with what’s across the table from me.

We exchange book titles that we’ve loved and ones we think will help the other person.

We share stories about clients and how we both work in Marketing to help businesses with campaigns. 

To put the nail in the we-have-things-in-common coffin, he even shares with me his Twitter strategy and how he’s figured out a way to gain legit followers who are engaged with his tweets in a short period of time.  It’s amazing.

It’s been about an hour so we wrap up lunch.  He pays for the bill (I always offer to help but usually get declined), and then we head on to the next part. 

He wants to be outside and see the ocean so we park back at my place (perks of living by the beach!), then walk the few blocks down to the ocean.  We find a cute, boutique hotel, the Shangri La, that has a great bar inside (and on the rooftop) and have a round of drinks.


The great conversation and laughs continue.

Here’s a shot I grabbed on the down low for ya.  The flowers were gorgeous:


We spend a few hours there in total, and ended up on the rooftop, overlooking the sights of the Pacific Ocean.

It’s getting cold so we head back to my place.  The conversation continues on the walk back.

As we head back to my garage and where he was parked, he says, “Well, this was so much fun.  Thank you.”

I thank him for driving to Santa Monica and for the lovely day.

He reaches in to give me a kiss on the cheek and a hug, and it turns into one of those “I don’t want to let go” hugs.  A hug that lasts more than the 2 seconds they’re supposed to last.

He’s such the perfect height (I have to hug UP!) and although it’s an awkward end-of-first-date hug where I wonder if he’ll kiss me or not, I’m not sure what to do but to hold on longer.

So we do.

And now we’re hugging and holding each other and talking about how amazing this feels. I swear it was feeling like an eternity.

Who woulda thought?! A HUG!

I love his arms and his back and his shoulders and his chest that my head is firmly planted against.  And then I remember this same sexy man also pulled out his phone earlier and showed me his Twitter strategy.

Now I’m really done! Check puh-LEASE!

He must have been thinking all of the amazing things in return and the chemistry that wasn’t really evident earlier in the date all of a sudden sprang to life.

The hug turned into a sweet kiss. 

And then a longer kiss…

And then like a lightning bolt had hit us, a full-on high school-style makeout-sesh happened right there in my parking garage.  Sparks freakin’ everywhere.

At one point, I noticed a car pull into the garage and park nearby.  That didn’t stop us. 

An old woman in a walker was helped out of the car, and guided slowly toward the nearby elevator. 

As we continued the aggressive tongue hockey, I could hear people talking in another language.  I can only imagine what they were thinking. 

I did not care, however.  🙂

upDATE: Mr. Can I Get a Vowel

After 7 months of not seeing each other, I agreed to finally see Mr. Can I Get a Vowel again.

The fact that his name is literally missing a vowel and is spelled incorrectly (yet….not…cuz that’s how his mama spelled it) still bugs me.  However, we did have some crazy chemistry and I remember both dates that we had last year like they were yesterday.  Might as well, right? He told me he’s completely single and still wondering what I’m up to.

We met at a place in Venice for drinks.

As I began to walk in to meet him, I realized that he hadn’t seen me (or even a pic of me) with my new haircut.  I’ve been told I look pretty different now, and I agree.

Oh, great.

I immediately felt the anxiety of the “First Date Nerves” all over again.  That beginning part where you’re meeting someone in person after communicating mostly via text or message or phone.

Sure enough, I’m walking towards who I think is him, sitting at a table towards the back.  The place is packed.

The guy turns and looks at me walking towards him across the room.  He doesn’t respond.

Oh, CRAP! He totally doesn’t recognize me! Wait.  Is that even HIM???

I literally keep walking towards this guy, getting closer and closer.  I’ve committed to it.

Still NO RESPONSE. Not a smile, but a look of confusion, perhaps?

I am now literally AT the table and I’m 98% sure it’s him but need him to say something so I can recognize his voice.  Or a smile, or something! ANYTHING!

I decide that it’s him and pull up a chair next to him and say, “Hi! Yeah, it’s me.  I cut my hair….”

The look of wonder starts to fade and he smiles a faint smile.

He totally didn’t recognize me!



He looks at my hair, me up and down, back at my hair.  It’s funny and random.  He says he likes it, he just didn’t recognize me.

We begin to catch up and our nerves dissipate.

He’s still super attractive and I love his style and designer jeans.  The man can dress.

He asked me what happened to the guy I last told him I was seeing (umm…that would be The Doc, last year).  He has a great memory.

I tell him that that guy was great, but that he didn’t want a longterm, serious relationship with me.

He says, “Yeah, welcome to my world.  That’s woman’s problem in LA.”

Umm, excuuuuuze me?! I thought that was just MY challenge!

Apparently he’d been meeting other people off of Plenty of Fish who were a bit bat*** crazy.  He says that most women here don’t know what they want.

I love hearing the men’s perspective on dating.  It’s usually a topic on 80% of dates I go on.

He’s an affectionate guy and we’re flirting.  He puts his hand on my knee as we watch the NBA game that’s on and talk.

After he buys us a round or two of drinks, we close out our tab.

Since we’re a block away from the ocean, we head to his car to put our stuff away.

I recognize the same black BMW he had last year, and it felt nice to see something “familiar” when I haven’t talked to him in so long.  Our connection is definitely there and I feel very comfortable with him.  He has a very quiet, calming presence.

He grabs a blanket out of the trunk and we walk around the pier and almost empty boardwalk of Venice.

After about an hour of hearing waves crash on the beach, we parted ways with him promising me that I won’t wait another 7 months to see him again.

I made the promise, and I’m sure it won’t be 7 months, although I’m not exactly sure why or when we’d see each other again.

As much as I enjoy our connection on the chemistry side of things, he’s lacking in a few other areas that are very important to me.  Ambition and career track.  Plus, he may be moving to Puerto Rico for 4 months to go work for his brother who’s a professional basketball player (and former LA Clippers player).

Nothing longterm is really there, but we’re still in communication and I won’t blow him off or lose his number anytime soon.

(Fun Fact: As I started to type this blog about him, I remembered on our date that he said his birthday was yesterday! And he turned 40! That was a big deal! OOPS! I feel like a total jerk.

I just text him “Happy Birthday” wishes and hope he had a good weekend and we’ve been texting back and forth.

Thank God I’m blogging! I probably wouldn’t have remembered til sometime next week when it randomly hit me! Thanks, Single Girl Shenanigans.  See – I blog for you guys, but I also blog for me.  It helps me remember things.) 🙂

They’re Baaaack

First of all, I know I owe my faithful readers a Part 2 of the last blog, False Starts and Orgasms, but to be honest with you that all sort of fizzled out and I’ve been too uninspired to finish the story.  Sorry.

Mainly because the guy has been keeping in contact with me but not making any further plans. He tells me he’s focused on his gig at Warner Bros, as well as his side projects and launching his company. He checks in on me and we talk every now and then. But nothing more. So frustrating! I also think he’s confused on what he wants.

Welcome to the non-committal, career-driven, Single Man Syndrome in Los Angeles. Again.  My catch-22.  Sounds like The Doc.

That being said, I’m writing this quick blog update to let you know that there are people who DO know what they want, and they won’t leave me alone!  And strangely enough, these guys are from my past blog updates. It was last year when I met both of these guys, if I recall correctly.

So many guys come back down the road. Especially if I’m the one who isn’t interested after a date or two. Weird.

Anyway, Mr. Can I Get A Vowel and Mr. Too Young Tyson Beckford have both been consistently persistent in wanting to see me again. Last night both of them were texting me…

Mr. Can I Get A Vowel is single (and still VERY hot, I imagine) and apparently thinks about me all the time but didn’t want to bother me. However, his tune clearly changed recently, as the texts began picking up again. He has been asking to see me for several weeks now but I’ve been hesitant.

I told him I had reservations that we don’t want the same things. Although we have CRAZY chemistry,  I’m looking for a long term committed relationship, and I’m not sure that’s what he wants too. He says he understands what I want, that he’s open to that idea, that he really likes me and that he wants to ‘go with the flow.’

That’s either code for “yeah yeah yeah…I just want in your pants so I’ll say anything at this point…” OR it means he’s potentially interested in really getting to know me better and doesn’t want to promise me anything he’s not sure about.  They both sound the same.

You could flip a coin on this one.  We’ll see.

We have a date on Wednesday night.

He came up with a plan, a place, a time, a day – all something that a lot of men, it seems, have trouble doing.

Side note: It’s not rocket science to ask someone out for coffee or a drink, geez! Be a man! Ask us single ladies out on a date, already!  🙂

I digress.

So naturally,  I accepted his invitation.

Last night I fell asleep to his text that said he was very excited to see me and couldn’t wait. That made me excited, too. It will be good to catch up with him at least.

This morning I woke up to a text from him telling me:

“Good morning, beautiful. I hope you have a wonderful day.”

I like it. 🙂

Mr. Too Young Tyson Beckford isn’t that serious, and hasn’t planned an actual date with me yet, although he’s mentioned wanting to get together a few times.  He was gone for a couple weeks on a business trip in Canada and returned recently.

He’s still a few years younger. I believe he’s still in his late 20’s, which was my biggest reservation in the past.

My ex-boyfriend is 50! That’s quite a gap.

However, he’s very, very interested in seeing me again and who knows what I’ll do with that one. Probably nothing. Even over text I can sense some immaturity.  It’s not his fault, its just where he is right now in life. Nothing wrong with that. (Except horrible timing for me!) I’m really looking for someone who’s in their 40s.

But DANG! He is gorgeous!

So there’s a quick roundup.

There are other players on the field.  More of them are on the sidelines or brand new to the lineup and not yet blog-worthy.  Of course, I’ll be sure to let you know if anything develops.

Who knows what will happen, but I can almost guarantee you… shenanigans.

Shenanigans,  indeed.

False Starts & Orgasms – Part I

Attention faithful followers of my shameless shenanigans!


Yes, folks.  There’s someone new on the scene and he’s worth blogging about.  The online dating gods have conspired yet again to bring me a “match.” Well, that happens all the time, actually.  But we spent almost all of our time together this last weekend, so it’s definitely more than an algorithm’s suggestion at this point. Read on.

About a month ago:

1. He sends me a message on OkCupid (remember I deleted my Plenty of Fish account awhile back)

2. I check him out, think he’s cute and interesting and funny, so I respond.

3.  We go back and forth for the next week or so.

4.  We finally exchange numbers.

5.  We text.

6.  I leave for a trip out of state a few days later.  I’m gone for a week.

7.  I return and we make plans to meet.

8.  We have a few conversations via phone.  Yes, folks.  A real conversation on the telephone.  Rare.  I treasure it.

9.  We make plans to meet on a Saturday night.

10.  But THEN….those plans fall through.   He basically flakes on me.  I’m mad/disappointed, yet honestly was too tired to go out that night anyways.

11.  He KNOWS I’m mad/disappointed and profusely calls/texts me the next day apologizing.  He had a misunderstanding of the plans.

12.  He’s cute and funny and he’s APOLOGIZING so I forgive him.

13.  After reading him the polite version of the riot act about how my weekend time is precious and usually pretty scheduled in advance and how I LOVE when a man makes a plan (ie – “How about we meet for coffee on Saturday at 3pm?” instead of “Well maybe we can cross paths on Saturday night…”), and also how 3 other guys contacted me the night we were supposed to go out (FUN FACT: including Mr. Too-Young-Tyson-Beckford!… who I haven’t heard from since I turned him and his hot, gorgeous, skinny jeans-loving self down), and NOW he understands.  He feels bad.  And he realizes he needs to “step his game up” because I’m clearly a “popular woman…” Um, yes. Whatever the case, communication is all I ask for.  Still cute.

There’s the backstory.

Here’s the rest:

Armed with his new knowledge about how I roll (I love a solid PLAN and all…), he calls to ask me out to dinner, Saturday night.  Reservations are at 7:30pm and we’ll have dinner and drinks at this cool place he’s been to before.  RESERVATIONS!

Now, let me share something.

I feel this is way too much for a first date. What if I don’t like him? Or, worse….what if he doesn’t like ME?! That makes for a very awkward dinner.

I much prefer to meet first for a brief cup ‘o joe and let a coffee date organically turn into something more, but apparently this guy wants to do things a bit differently.

Ok, fine.  I just roll with it.  Dinner is going to be at least $125, if not more, but hey, his call.  He’s clearly listening to how I prefer things now and brushed off my suggestions for something simple.  I can definitely appreciate his extra effort.

We have plans to meet at Bar Pinxto, very close to where I live, but a place I’d never been to.  He gets excited when I tell him it’s something new for me to discover.  It’s a super cute, rustic but fancy Spanish tapas bar.  I’m up for it and feeling adventurous.

I’m wearing a purple-blue dress and tall, black boots.  It’s dressy for Santa Monica, yet it’s not.  I love the diversity here.

I’m standing outside the restaurant and then see him walking up towards me.  He’s CUTE! Even cuter in person.  He’s wearing jeans, a collared shirt and a brown leather type of jacket over it.  Stylish.

He hugs me hello and gives me a kiss on the cheek.  Very sweet.

We head inside and are seated.

He’s nervous. I’m nervous.  We make awkward small talk as we look at the wine menu we’ve just been handed.

He’s smiling.  I’m smiling.  This is going to be interesting.

Him: “Do you see anything you like?”

Me: (a lover of wine, but definitely NOT a wino) “Ummm….I’m not picky.  Do you have a preference?”

Him: “Oh, yes. I love Spanish wines.”

I recall we’re at a Spanish tapas place.  There is a large assortment of bottles of wine all around us on display.

I’m quickly sold on the fact that this guy clearly has some culture and cuisine skillz.  YES.

He suggests I try a favorite wine of his and we talk about our day.

He works for Warner Bros and actually had to push back our reservations by a half hour because he was stuck at work on a Saturday getting something ready for a film they’re about to release.  I’m glad to learn he’s a career-guy!

He’s from NYC and was transferred out here to Los Angeles about a year ago for work.

He’s good at his job, yet also has a full-on business plan for what he wants to do with his own company he’s about to launch.

The waitress asks to take our order and I tell him I don’t understand anything on the menu (more or less…it’s all in Spanish) so he politely orders for the both of us.  A few small plates here and there.

The food is amazing!

Mostly things I’ve never heard of or experienced, and I’m loving the adventure as much as he’s loving that he’s the one who gets to watch me experience it for the first time.

The special of the night has squid ink in it and I learn he MUST order this dish.

Like I said.  Adventurous.  That sounds nasty, right?!?!

Well, this man hadn’t led me astray all night and sure enough, it was delicious.

Throughout the next 2 1/2 hours, we dine and talk and bond over squid ink and calamari.

I learn about his family and how he’s very close with his mom, dad and three younger sisters all back on the East Coast.

He also has a 5-year-old daughter and the bi-coastal parenting adjustment has been hard for him.  I can relate and I give him tips about his plans to take her to Disneyland when she’s ready to come visit pretty soon.

He asks me questions about what I do and he’s fascinated.

I share more about who I am and a bit on my work, but mostly he’s a chatterbox telling me stories about living and growing up in New York City and his transition to living here on the West Coast now.

We’re having a GREAT time!

We wrap up dinner and then decide to take a stroll down Ocean Avenue.

We stop to look inside the windows of an art gallery and we both identify our favorite pieces.  He tells me he just picked up some new canvases at Michael’s the other day, and I’m glad to find we also have this hobby in common.  I’d love a “paint date” in the future. 🙂

He walks me back to my car and as we’re standing in the parking lot, he begins to play the “I don’t want to leave but I’m not sure if I should kiss you or just keep talking to you” game.

It’s cute.

He’s been kinda stand-offish all night physically, yet definitely connected.

So it’s getting late and I say I’m going to head home.  We hug and I thank him for an awesome night, with big kudos on picking out a great restaurant.

He’s glad I enjoyed the evening – he’s had just as good of a time as well.

I get in my car and he heads off to his.

On the way home, I realize we just spent about 3 hours together.  Not bad for a first date! All smiles.

I also realize that you’ve read this whole blog and there has been NO mention of orgasms.  Sorry.

That happens on the next date, so I’ll be calling this one Part I.

Stay tuned…



UpDATE: The Architect

I learned so much this weekend.

First, I learned that as much as The Architect intrigues me, it’s not a match.

Without divulging too much detail about his personal life and continuous drama with the mother of his two children, I’ll say this much:

We all have baggage.  We just have to decide how much strength we have to carry a heavy (or lighter) load.  And when it comes to a very fresh, very new potential relationship, this includes you and how much of their baggage you choose to deal with alongside them.  Especially when you’re close enough to be trusted with and learn all of the craziness happening from a pretty early start.

There’s a LOT.

Long story short, the level of his “baby mama drama” is like an 11 on the 10-point scale.  And even though she’s this famous blonde Hollywood-type you’ve most likely seen on a TV show (a Dr. who talks about relationships of all things!), according to The Architect she’s bat-poop cray cray.  A fraud and total hypocrite who is somehow “obsessed” with Mr. Architect, as he says.  The stories he shares with me about her are like nothing I’ve heard and it makes me appreciate the people in my life who are SANE.

They’ve not been together for over 6 years but as a very active dad in his two daughter’s lives, it’s inevitable and almost unavoidable drama for him on a daily basis.

I learn more and more during our date this weekend:

After not seeing each other for a month or so, The Architect invites me out for brunch.

I was curious to see how he was doing (new developments for him on the work side of things) and we do have a special connection.

We spent a few hours in the warm, sunny SoCal city of Manhattan Beach.  After we ate at Ocean View Cafe, we walked down to the ocean.

He shared with me the latest gripes and groans about everything going on (his ex, his latest client who won’t pay his full rate, etc) and I found myself feeling sad.

Sad for him because it’s never any fun when one parent uses the kids to manipulate the other parent.  Sad for him because I know he loves his daughters and his ex puts so much unnecessary strain on those relationships, and after 16 years of it, he’s TIRED.  And finally, sad for him because the majority of what he talks about now is almost all negative.

I’m a glass-half full type of woman and maybe when I’m 56 I’ll be a Negative Nancy, too, but I certainly will do everything in my power to NOT be!

In addition, I can’t STAND people who are negative.  Or not just negative, but who only talk about the bad things in life.   He might speak about actual facts of a situation that he can’t do anything about, but there’s always light to find in a situation, too.

I much prefer to keep things positive, happy, light-hearted and fun.

Much of what he talks about is just repetitive, too, and I’m not a fan of a broken record.

I AM a fan, however, of acknowledging the bad stuff but then changing things up and to start focusing on the positives we see right in front of us.

Fast forward…

He knows I have plans later in the day (another date!…although I didn’t share that), so we head back. I drop him off.  We hug and he gives me a kiss goodbye.

It didn’t feel “final” or anything, but in my heart he’s definitely moved into The Friend Zone.

Which, of course, SUCKS because now instead of getting it for free, I’ll probably have to pay him to build me that dream house, in which I won’t be living in with him.  Sigh.