Facebook Is a Snitch (upDATE: Mr. Can I Get A Vowel)

It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve turned into a Private Investigator and gone to social media to find somebody to stalk,… err, I mean, look at.

We all do it.

And with new dates popping up faster than the Orville Redenbacker popcorn machine at the movie theater, I’ve got to find extra info on these boyz STAT, yo!

Remember Mr. Can I Get A Vowel?

Well thank goodness he’s missing a vowel in how to spell his name cuz he was the ONLY guy on Facebook that came up in my search. How convenient!

He’s still texting me everyday, calling me “baby” (Btw, what is that with guys? I’m not your baby until we’re exclusive! Do you know how many people’s “baby” I am?? It’s getting watered down.  Ugh.), and he’s tried to see me again (I already had plans that night) .

Let’s see what this guy’s REAL story is…

His profile? Pretty barren and locked down. Most recent profile pic was from 2011, and it was one of the same ones from his dating profile.

I couldn’t see or learn anything else, really. I flipped through a few old pics in an album on the red carpet with his brother, the guy in the NBA. Meh. Whatevs. Nothing too shocking. No women in his pix, just a bunch of guy friends. He still looks good, though.

But THEN… I see it.

A picture on his timeline from 2011, a selfie of a woman he had tagged as “my friend.”

She’s a pretty Asian girl and right away I remember him saying on our first date that he has a crazy, Asian ex. Whatever that means.

So naturally I click through to her profile and lo and behold, her current default profile pic is both her AND Mr. Can I Get A Vowel all hugged up together.

Further, her cover photo is of him and her at a zoo.

Busted.

I dig deeper to find the dates these pics were taken. Turns out, it was awhile ago but she had just re-uploaded them a few weeks back. I can read a public comment thread and see her tell her aunt who commented on how cute they are together that she “loves him very much!”

Hmmm.

Either they just broke up recently and she’s not quite ready to let go of their 3+ year relationship, or they’re still together.

Either way, I ain’t the one!

Too messy. And as I told him, I’m looking for a more serious relationship. I couldn’t expect anyone to be ready to jump right back into one.

I ended up questioning him about it. He said he had already “explained” the situation me. (No, playa, you didn’t. I’m pretty sure I would have recalled that info.)

So I told him I ain’t the one, and he said he wishes me the best and that I deserve the best.

Yes. Yes, I do.

Vanna, out.

Next!

I Think I Got Proposed To…

I owe you all an upDATE from the other night.

First of all, it’s so funny how different the men all are that I’m going out with in terms of relationship readiness. They are keeping me on my toes!

Fresh off the heels of The Doc assuring me he’s NOT interested in anything serious, I meet up with this other guy – an ex, actually.

Well, not technically an “ex” as in boyfriend, but a man I’d casually dated several years ago during my phase where I was not relationship ready.

We always had a good time. He’s funny, charming and a total gentleman. The guy once delivered flowers to me after a simple misunderstanding just to make sure we were cool.

He’s financially stable, divorced for a long time and has two grown kids out of the house. He just turned 48 but looks and acts much younger.

During the time we were “dating,” this guy fell for me hard. Like, head over heels. I had some sort of a clue back then, but really didn’t know the extent of it…

One night last week, I was surfing around on Plenty of Fish and there he was! We had originally met on POF, and it was cool to see him single and available.

We exchanged messages and he said he was JUST wondering about me! How strange.

I was uber curious to see this guy again. I had changed. I was ready. Had he changed? Was he still ready? Was the timing better now?

It turned out that his birthday landed on the day after we selected to go out. Cool! One stone, two birds. We’d celebrate.

It took awhile to figure out where we’d meet for dinner. I suggested a few places and he was pretty indifferent.

Now, normally that’s not a big deal, but this is the guy who when we were first dating used to pick two restaurants before our date, and DRIVE to them each, check out the vibe and ambience, look at the menu, and actually talk to the manager to get their feedback before choosing which venue would be best.  Screw Yelp. Just ask this guy…

But, whatever, I just took it as maybe he was feeling guarded and didn’t want to extend his gentlemanly-self quite so soon. After all, I kinda rejected him and broke things off last time.

So we arrive at Bottega Louie, a nicer Italian spot downtown LA. I love this place. He had never been.

We have the “Wow, I haven’t seen you in a long time…” jitters and strangely enough we launch into conversation about dating. Online dating, dating in LA, what he’s experienced since we had last been dating, what I’ve experienced, etc

(Btw, I’ve found this conversation to be a pretty typical one with guys nowadays. Nothing too extensive but we definitely chat about dating and meeting online without any stigma. In the past? Stigma.)

So he’s actually telling me that dating hasn’t been going so well for him. That it’s been hard because he started working the graveyard shift over a year ago for his job and that makes it impossible to date. He admits he’s a bit rusty.

He also tells me he no longer believes in the institution of marriage.

Screeeech! Hold up. Say what?!

This dude HAD changed. But why?

So he proceeds to tell me about a “relationship” he had after me that really messed him up. He says he got played pretty bad by a conniving woman who wanted him to chase her for a year when he really wasn’t interested, and when he did switch from only liking her as a friend to all of a sudden realizing he loved her, she broke it off because the chase was over. Messed up. And I felt bad.

That was over two years ago and he’s over that now. But it had changed him a bit.

So I’m listening to his stories. We order a fancy Italian pizza and drinks and continue to chat.

He’s still making me laugh, in between stories and I’m enjoying his company. He’s really one of the good guys and I can still see that. I tell him I’m having a good time and it’s good to see him and catch up.

And then he drops the bomb…

“It’s good to see you, too. But as far as I’m concerned, we should be sitting at this table as husband and wife.  You should have long since been my girl.”

Ummm…. excuse me??? Did you say WIFE?! #WhatTheWhat

He proceeds to tell me that he held back a lot when we were first dating because he knew I wasn’t really interested in anything long term. He is acting timid and kinda shy and totally vulnerable now, but he continues to share his feelings.

I was “the one.”

The whole time my mind is reeling. Is this guy serious? Is it worth checking out? Maybe we should date again…

He assures me I’d be the happiest woman on the earth, that we’d be great together, and that bit was always easy with us.  We clicked.

I tell him I’m confused because earlier he had said he didn’t believe a happy marriage was in the cards for him. He cleared up that I was a different situation. I was different from all the other women he’s dated over the years.

Oh.

I begin to understand. I’m acting super sweet, caring and aware of his vulnerable state, all the while. But still processing this news…

So the restaurant is closing down by this point and the lights start to come up as bus boys clear all the tables.

It’s getting late, it’s a “school night” and I have to work in the morning, so we head out.

I drive him to his car parked farther away, and he’s making me laugh so hard by random things he’s saying in our small talk conversation. (Sense of humor is MUST for me in a match.)

He reminds me that the “ball is in my court”, he gives me a quick kiss goodbye and we part ways.

So there ya have it! The proposal-ish conversation.

It’s been 5 days since that date and I’m still not quite sure what to do. He’s definitely a different person nowadays. I suppose I am, too. There are new things about him that I don’t love and that rub me the wrong way, but I dunno… Maybe I’m sabotaging what could be a really good thing? Heck, I did it once with him already! (even though the timing was off)

And I further suppose that starting over with each other might just be a good idea. I’ll continue to date and meet other people until I figure things out.

The shenanigans of a single woman in her 30s in Los Angeles continue!

Pigs may be flying…

New guy.

Today’s text:

He’s in yellow. I’m in blue.  We were just making small talk and then I get…

image

Yes. That just happened. He really went there and asked something that mostly WOMEN ask.

Who is he?

He found me on OkCupid, 38, good-looking, buff, polite, adventurous, career-driven, gooood guy with values… Wait for it…. Who ONLY wants to date if it leads to marriage.

Omg – he actually exists in LA!

We haven’t met yet but have texted and chatted on the phone once. We have a first date/coffee scheduled in a few days.

Stay tuned for that upDATE. 🙂

PS  –  The Doc text me today to let me know I was on his mind and that he misses seeing me…

PPS –  smh…

“MANifesting”

There’s a term I learned while living here in California. It’s called manifesting. Now I may lose you right about now and you might think I’m about to get all “hippy dippy” and “woo-woo” with you, and you’d be right, but get over it and read on anyways. 🙂

I wasn’t raised this way, but I’ve proven over and over that we definitely have the power and/or capability to manifest specific things we want into our lives. I know God has a hand in it, too, but I also know the “Universe” is at play.

That being said, there are times when I’m on a manifesting roll. Where things I want to happen, just happen.

For example, one day I’ll literally be thinking about or talking about something I want and then, BAM! The next day it’s happening to me.

From huge things like wanting to hear from someone I haven’t heard from in awhile and then they go ahead and text me, to small things like telling a friend I’m wanting a chocolate covered strawberry from Shari’s Berries and the next day it shows up at work because a gift from Shari’s Berries just came in from a vendor. (This happened yesterday.)

Some people might call this coincidence. Others might say that my energy of what I want is being put to work and that the Universe just starts conspiring to make it happen. Either way, I know one thing is for sure: You can’t be vague. You have to knew EXACTLY what you want, or nothing happens.

So it’s clear that I’m on a manifesting roll in my dating life, too. Two months ago I made the decision to start dating again (after a year or so hiatus)  and really start looking for someone special. And the abundance of men in the last few months only shows I’m on track. I’m intentionally and unintentionally bringing people into my life. Online dating sites help, but it’s organic, too. There’s no question that this MANifesting thing is working. My butt is tired! 🙂

But what’s most crazy is that in the past week, guys I’ve dated in the past that I’ve been thinking about, have reconnected with me and wanted to see me. (separate #upDATE blog posts coming.. Including a marriage proposal)

Like, they’re contacting me out of the blue.

And I think I know why…

A few years ago, I was truly only about the shenanigans of dating. Having fun, no-strings-attached shenanigans. I was always classy with it, but I was busy building my business and only “dated” men in a casual sense. I thought I wanted a relationship then, but looking back, I wasn’t really in that place. I was unknowingly a heartbreaker and I acted like a dude.

I was focused on something in Los Angeles other than seriousness with a guy, one of the “challenges” a lot of women (maybe me, now, too?) say sucks about dating in LA.

(This is also why I ended up laughing out loud when I was last with The Doc recently.  Taste of my own medicine, indeed!)

But now, I want a committed, long term relationship. My best friend and partner. And the guys who wanted to give me that back then are now showing back up. It’s weird.

I think it’s a test.

I think I’m being tested to make sure I know for SURE what i want. These guys are popping up to see if I’m interested in what they originally were offering. They represent guys who want something long term. Omgggggg! It actually exists in LA!

So stay tuned for the conversations and insight I’ll gather from these men. Not sure if anything will happen with them, as I’m still meeting new guys, too. (another first date on Saturday that I’m really looking forward to!)

Until then, I’m going to get very clear on other things I want in order to continue my manifesting trend.

Winning lottery tickets, anyone? 🙂

upDATE: Mr. Can I Get A Vowel

Well, life is exciting and full of surprises.

One of the things I always try to keep in mind while dating in Los Angeles is to have no expectations.  I know what I want (both in a relationship as well as what I’d like to experience while dating).  So it’s always interesting when you’re about to meet someone for the first time IRL (translation – in real life) from first meeting them online.

This blog update is about the guy I briefly blogged about here.  Catch up if you need to.  Here’s what happened:

It’s Thursday.  I get home from work, grab a quick bite and then start getting ready to meet him at the place we’d decided to meet at in Beverly Hills, The Peninsula Hotel.

First, I have to tell you how much I appreciate a man with great communication.  PRICELESS.  This guy has that part DOWN, and I’m so grateful.  I get a text from him while I’m getting ready – confirming we’re still meeting.  Nice.  Yes, yes, we are.  (One of the biggest source of nerves when it comes to meeting someone in person is the fact that they might just flake on you.  Rude, but it happens.)

I text back to confirm, but need an extra 15 mins from initially planned.  He’s cool with that, too.

I’m getting ready.  Now, as much dating as I’ve done, how “dressed” I get depends on a few things: How interested I am in the person, What mood I’m in and Where we’re meeting.  Today? Shower, hair, makeup, and a dress.  Yes, a dress.  We were going to a nice hotel lounge in Beverly Hills, after all.  I’m totally fine wearing jeans anywhere I go, but based on this guy’s pics on his profile I felt dressing up was probably a good call.

He texts me that he’s on the way.   I LOVE this text the most.  That lets me gauge how long it’ll take him to get from his house to the hotel, and how much time I need to leave my house so we arrive at the same time.  No one wants to wait awkwardly by themselves at the spot.

I look good.  I throw on my 5″ heels, too.  Hell, why not.  He says he’s 6’2″, which means I’ll be juuuuust a bit shorter than him still, even wearing heels.  #winning

He texts me again to let me know he’s arrived…he’s “sitting down.”  I am LOVING the play-by-play.

I text him “Ok…5 mins” and take off to leave, since I’m done getting ready and live just down the street.

I pull up to valet and ask the gentleman with the fancy hat and vest where the bar/lounge is.  I enter the doors and walk down the hall.  I see him out of the corner of my eye.  He’s secured a corner area, with a couch, table and a few chairs around.

He stands up to greet me with that million dollar smile I recognize from his profile pictures and gives me a hug.

He’s dressed up! He’s wearing all black – a collared shirt, black dress pants, black leather dress shoes and a Gucci belt.

Dang.  Too-Young-Tyson-Beckford has competition in the “Most Gorgeous Man I’ve Met in LA” category and I am again reminded that Los Angeles is full of beautiful people.

OMG.  He’s so hot…

I sit down beside him on the couch and for the next 5 minutes we work out the normal “first date” jitters.  We’re both nervous.  The thoughts that normally come into my head start fluttering around…

What does he think about me? Does he like how I look? What should we talk about? Is he really that gorgeous? Is this real life??

I’m normally a pretty confident chick and rarely feel intimidated, but sometimes people get to me.

He waves over the waitress (whose name he got when he first arrived) and politely asks to see the drink menu.  We both order some fancy $17 martinis and then launch into conversation.

The jitters leave pretty quickly because he compliments me early on.  He tells me how beautiful I look and that he’s glad we finally had the chance to meet. (Finally? Ummm…you just sent me our first message online 4 days ago! But I’m not complaining.  I like to meet people IRL sooner than later to determine if there’s that in-person chemistry.)

We talk about a lot – our upbringings, how much he loves his 84-year-old granny, and what his friends call him as a nickname.  (“Pretty Boy” is one of them. Big surprise!)  This is where I find out how to pronounce his name…lol.  It’s what I thought, and it’s actually a pretty cool name – even missing the vowel that should be there.  😉

We also talk about what we do for work.  This is the part that gets “Hollywood” and for those of you reading this blog who don’t live in LA, you may enjoy this part a bit more.

So it turns out his brother is in the NBA and used to play for the Los Angeles Clippers.  He was his personal assistant, which means he had a front row seat to about as “Hollywood” as you can get here (at least on the sports side of things).  Athletes are also celebrities and that life epitomizes my favorite saying, “Work hard. Play hard.”  Those in their inner circle, live pretty much the same life.

He launched into numerous tales of what it was like to have Blake Griffin and DeAndre Jordan come hang out at his house, how the hoochie mama groupies would always show up at their hotels, and how crazy that lifestyle is overall.  I’m sitting there listening, both impressed and not-impressed as I’ve had my own moments of this lifestyle in LA, including standing next to Blake Griffin in the player’s parking garage after a game at the Staples Center.  Heck, I probably saw my date at one point or another during a game.  I use to live downtown LA and my friend who works for the Clippers would always hook me up VIP style.

He also tells me that his ex was Whitney Houston’s hairstylist.  And also, was the one who sadly, found her the day she died.  Strangely enough, we were sitting just across the street from the Beverly Hills Hotel where it happened.  Talk about epic Hollywood stuff.  Once again I think to myself, “Is this real life?”

I was born and raised in the Midwest with no television or interest in Hollywood, and here I am (again), smack dab in the middle of another now-normal conversation.

More Hollywood talk and a few more stories, and it reminds me of an important question I asked him on a previous phone conversation.  I ask him again:

“So, you’re not still involved in that lifestyle, right?”

His brother ended up getting hurt, traded and out for surgery and then rehab, so it’s been awhile since he was last “out on the scene.”

He repeats that he no longer lives like that and he never really loved all of it.  He’s more of the responsible, focused, quiet, laid back and humble kinda dude.

I’m glad, and reiterate that I wouldn’t be sitting here meeting him if he was still caught up in all that.  Just not my thing.  Been there, done that when I worked in the music industry.   It gets old fast.  I express how sad it makes me feel for those women whose identity is 100% attached to being seen with a “baller” and how it’s unfortunate that they define their self-worth by being associated with these guys and do almost anything to try get their attention.  Uck.

Frankly, that’s why my date first sent me a message.  I have a part in my dating profile that says “I’m not your typical LA chick!” And it’s true.

Before you know it, two hours have passed! We had no idea! We were having such a good time chatting that time just flew by.  That’s always a good sign.

We decide to get up and walk around the hotel a bit.

Just outside the door to the lounge, I hear piano music.  OMG! I love it!

We walk around the corner and find the luxurious “Living Room”, where there is a legit older guy in a suit, playing classical music on a piano.  I almost squeal out loud because I’m a classically trained pianist and miss playing so much.  Any chance to hear it live is a treat.  He’s excited that I’m excited and wants to listen, too.  I like his laid-back and go-with-the-flow vibe.

It’s late now….about 11:30pm and there are only a handful of people around.  We find another great couch to sit at so we can listen to the guy playing piano and also chat some more, but first, I excuse myself to use the ladies room right around the corner.

I mentioned how I love his communication style, but I also love how polite he is.

One of the ways you can tell how polite someone is, is how they treat the waitstaff.  All night he’s been saying “Please” and “Thank you, ma’am”…”No ma’am…”…”How you doing, sir?”… to people around us.

He’s also SO polite that when I return from the bathroom, he STANDS up and waits until I sit down before he sits back down on the couch.  Ummm, hello, Mr. Gentleman! He was raised right and as much as a progressive, independent woman of the 21st century that I am, I LOVE old-fashioned chivalry.  It is not dead, ladies and gentleman.  It’s just rare.

At this point in the date, it’s clear he’s interested and enjoying my company.  Same with me.  I ask if I can sit next to him and he’s happy to have me cuddle up and sit next to him on the couch.  He puts his arm around me and it’s a very romantic scene, folks.   The opulence of the hotel, the chandeliers, the mirrored marble fireplace, the music from the piano….mmmm.  Nice.

So nice, in fact, I pull out my phone and grab a short video for Instagram/Facebook. 🙂

We chat more about what type of music we both like.  He likes it all – just like me.  I quiz him on giving me a few names of country artists (just to see if he’s full of it) and he comes through.  Very nice.

We’re sitting there, cuddled up a bit, our faces very close to each other.  He’s staring at me and then gives me the sweetest kiss on the lips.  Just one.  Nothing crazy.  Quite nice.  We both smile and then go back to watching and listening to this man play more Mozart.

So it’s now getting late and we both have to work in the AM, so we get up and leave to go get my car out of valet.  He’s parked nearby so I tell him I’ll take him to his car.

The end of a first date is weird.  If you’re not having a good time, clearly it’s a bit easier to just bail.  But it things are going well, what do you do? If there’s chemistry, what then? You don’t want to drag it on too much too fast, but you also don’t want to cut a good thing short, either.

So he points to where he’s parked on the street.  I pull up behind his BMW and park.

(Shenanigans Blog Bonus: I normally don’t post the “kiss and tell” parts of the story, but you’ve read this far and want the good stuff, I get it.  So here you go.  You’re welcome, ladies. And guys reading – you can stop now if you want and just know it was a good date and I went home shortly after. :))

He reaches over to kiss me goodbye and it is no longer just a quick, small kiss.  Instead he proves to me that he wasn’t lying when he said earlier in the week that he was a good kisser.  I prove him just as right, by confirming he had met his match.  His lips are SO SOFT.  Omg.

We say goodbye about 5 times and then he wants a proper hug goodbye, so we get out of my car.

He’s all smiles.  Well, we both are.  He’s a very affectionate guy and he’s holding me and looking at me, smiling that infectious smile.

I shake my head and just giggle and say, “You’re so handsome.”

He smiles back and says, “And you’re so beautiful.” Then he starts kissing me again.

So now it’s really, really late and I have to go.  But he doesn’t want to let me go.  I don’t want to leave, either.  So we proceed to stand there, in between our two BMWs, on the pretty empty streets of Beverly Hills, outside of The Peninsula Hotel, kissing.  I’m in the arms of a gorgeous, tall, charming man.

My life is officially a movie.

We say goodbye about another 15 times, and then finally, we mean it.  He opens my door and I get in to leave.  He says he’ll text me when he gets home so I know he’s safe.

And I drive away, smiling, with my hand over my mouth, saying, “OH MY GOD.  That just happened.”

Is this real life??? Yes.  Yes, it is.  🙂

UpDATE: “Too-Young-Tyson-Beckford”

My Facebook friends encouraged me to give a new guy a second chance.  I had early suspicions that it might not be a good match, but I don’t want to be a TOTAL ball-buster, so I had date #2 with “Too-Young-Tyson Beckford” (as my friend calls him).

Gorgeous, beautiful man. Actually looks more like Tyrese after staring into his eyes for awhile. I mean, wow, so good-looking, which is REALLY saying a lot to be able to stand out among all the other gorgeous people here in Los Angeles I’ve met, dated or seen on the streets. I’m tempted to post a pic of him, but I won’t.
We met at an artsy bar place in North Hollywood, listened to a pretty decent band, and talked about work, my son, his parents, dating in LA and more. Great conversation, a very serious, deep soul, but this 28-yr-old is definitely still in his 20s. The life experience was lacking and we went all “Dr. Phil” as he shared his struggle to not be a workaholic and make room for important things he now wants – like a relationship that leads to marriage. He also wore skinny jeans. And although he’s basically a model, umm…they still are a wonder for me, especially on a black guy. Yes, I said it.

Bottom line – he wants more, he likes me, the ball is in my court, he invited me to his place, he wants to go out with me again, etc but ya know what? Yeah, no. Not gonna happen. It’s just not “there!” Sorry!

We lingered goodbye at my car (mostly b/c I couldn’t stop looking at him and knew it’d be the last time), he told me it was up to me to move forward or not, we hugged then I left.

Once in my car, I grabbed my cell phone because I saw the blinking notification light come on early in the evening, but was polite and waited to check my phone until later. I was excited to see I’d missed a few texts from others I’m seeing…men in their 30s and 40s who definitely bring things to a whole other level.

“Tyson” is hot, yet I’ve never been a shallow person. I’m so glad to finally be at a place where I know exactly what I’m looking for. Looks matter, but not nearly as much as what happens in between the ears. And thus, my thrilling dating life continues…

I’m Dating Myself, Too

One of the things you hear every love, dating, and relationship guru say is that if you don’t love yourself FIRST, how could someone else love you? Or something along those lines.  It sounds kinda sad and desperate, but in reality it’s actually a really important point.

As much as an extroverted outgoing social butterfly I can be, I also enjoy my “me time.” Unless I have set plans with friends, or a date, I prefer to chill on my own.  I don’t ALWAYS need to be with other people to feel fulfilled.  It’s a great time to decompress, unwind and reflect.

This weekend I decided to launch my dating blog.  I knew I wanted to take my laptop somewhere with a great vibe to set it up in.  I was feeling inspired and excited! Maybe up the street to a fabulously swanky rooftop hotel on Sunset Blvd? Somewhere close where I could feel the afternoon sun on my face, while a gentle LA breeze kissed my cheek?

After debating for awhile, I ended up making a last minute decision to jump in my car and take a mini road-trip.  I left the hustle and bustle of Los Angeles and drove south to Rancho Palos Verdes, where a piece of heaven on earth secretly hides away from those who don’t know about it.

I arrived at Terranea Resort, a gorgeous place with private villas and high-end dining sprawling out over acres and acres of manicured lawns, oceans views and cliffs below.  A place I’ve been to before by myself and with a friend, and a place I’m dying to spend a weekend with someone special.  Who and when? Great question. Until then, I’m fine just enjoying its beauty.

I grabbed my blanket out of the trunk, my laptop, my Bose headphones (that a guy I’m currently dating let me borrow…so sweet), an Architectural Digest and my phone and hiked down to the beach.

I found a perfect spot, close to the water.  Two hours of bliss followed.

Life is good.

There is nothing like the sound of the waves crashing against the shore.  NOTHING.

Side note: There were tourists that came by throughout my time there.  Lots of pictures were taken, kids were playing, crazy men jumped into the freezing cold Pacific while their wives laughed at them and smiled, etc.  I caught two Australian guys near me who were in their late 20s probably.  Guess what they were talking about? Dating and relationships, and what the one guy should do about the girl he’s been seeing for a bit.

Love.  It’s universal. 🙂

Who I’ve Dated in The Melting Pot…aka Los Angeles

I was born and raised in the Midwest, the suburbs of Chicago, to be exact.  For a short stint, I also lived on a farm.  With barns and everything.  My move to Los Angeles in 2006 was brave, scary and awesome.  My dating life and what it would or wouldn’t be was never a top priority or point of concern, but over the years as a single girl, I’ve come to have some pretty amazing first-hand experiences with dating in this giant city ‘o lights.  Wow, is it an interesting place.

LA is a melting pot.  No one is from here and we’re all known as “transplants.” Everyone moves to California to follow their dreams, in hopes of hitting it big.  Cool.  Me, too. And in some respects, I have.

However, the desire to find a boyfriend or girlfriend to be in a long-term committed relationship with you is like almost non-existent compared to other (probably smaller) towns.  Everyone is “on their grind” – especially the 20s and 30s crowd.

Here’s a taste of who I’ve “dated” over the years here in LA:

Bartenders, actors, directors, photographers, personal trainers, musicians, vocalists, writers….did I mention actors and personal trainers? Yeah, I sense a theme, too.  They were all pretty awesome guys, actually.  Some had more going than others, but I tend to hold a higher standard with who I want to spend time with so they were all above average, for sure.

Bonus: Almost everyone was really good-looking.  It must be something in the water here.  (That’s true for most ANYONE in Los Angeles – people are beautiful here.  Even the garbage men are hot.)

But I didn’t just run into struggling wanna-be dudes, hoping to become the next big thing in Hollywood.  I’ve also dated VPs of major corporations, millionaire dudes with investment portfolios to be proud of, bankers, real estate geniuses and more.

I’ve dated guys with no cars and guys pushing Range Rovers.  I’ve dated vegans (eww, what?) and guys who wear skinny jeans to good ‘ol Midwest guys I’m familiar with from back home.

But most of them put finding a woman to date, then marry and fall into happily ever after with wayyyyy at the bottom of their list.  They had much more to be focused on.  And I did in the past, too.

There’s a mentality here that tends to put your selfish pursuits first, and your accommodations towards others, second.  Obviously this is a problem when it comes to finding longterm love.

Personally, I’ve LOVED getting to know single guys here.  The few total whackjobs I’ve encountered over the years still don’t deter me from welcoming a new introduction.

Now that I’m over the “casual dating” phase of my life, I’m hoping to find the proverbial needle in the haystack.  I’ll be sure to bring you the highlights going forward of who’s in the running. 🙂