meeting new people

Mr. Architect – Will you build me a house?

~ Single Girl ~ Leave a comment

Apparently Plenty of Fish (POF) doesn’t let you send someone a message if you haven’t at least uploaded one picture of yourself first.  THIS kind of a rule is amazing.   Online dating is so much better when there’s pics.

Yet Mr. Architect found this out the hard way when he came across my profile and immediately wanted to contact me.  (He later tells me how and why he initially reached out.)

Seeing as how he’s a very private guy, he didn’t want to upload any pictures.  However, he saw me and wanted to contact me, so up a picture went.

Operation: Talk To This Girl, began.

First, he added me as a Favorite.

I ignored it.

Big deal.  Tons of people add me as a favorite, but never do anything beyond that.  Plus, your profile’s pretty blank, dude.  Not interested.

A few days pass.  He then sent me a message:

“Good morning…”

That was it.

So, naturally, I ignored it, also.

Not because I’m a snob, but if that’s all you’re going to give me in your first message, I’m not interested.  It’s not my job to create your profile (or conversation) FOR you!

Besides, after the hundredth first-ever message from guys like: “Hi.” “Hey there.” “What’s up?” “Hey beautiful.” “How are you?” ….I want to stab my eye with a pencil. Where’s the originality?!

Points for someone who knows how to communicate! Yes, even online, it’s a stretch nowadays, and someone who can string together more than two original sentences is already sexier than the other “Hi” guy. Ugh.  Kill me.

A few days later, this guy who had actually listed his profession on his very limited profile as “Sales Professional”, decided to give it one more shot.

He finally sends:

“Hello,

You’re gorgeous and I think you’re just stunning! And I’m sure you’re bright and put together as well, and I would love to talk sometime, or if you’re up for it, even meet……I’m a 6’4″ architect ~ funny, bright, cool laid-back guy who is also very fit.

You can check me out via my website (insert his company website here) and or contact/email me on FB.

Cheers,
(insert his first initial, last initial here)”

NOW we’re talking! I loved the extra info. And a girl LOVES to hear she’s stunning and beautiful.

I was listening…

I loved the mini-pitch of who he is (an architect, huh?), and that he gave me extra links to look up (ie – stalk) him online.

Winning!

So, naturally, I stalk.

Before I even consider responding, I jump to his website.

Oh! Very nice! I see pics of his portfolio from some projects he’s worked on and I’m immediately impressed.  I see the same picture he’s uploaded to his POF profile under the “About Us” tab for his Residential Design firm.  A lengthy bio explains not only who he is, but that he specializes in the Classical tradition, with special emphasis on American renaissance period between 1880 – 1930.  He’s LEGIT!

I remember that I had listed “Interior Design” as one of my interests on my POF profile, because this stuff fascinates me.  I’m immediately intrigued.

So then I stalk him on Facebook, and after jumping over to my FB app to type in his name, I find we already have 10 friends in common here in Los Angeles.  Whoa! That’s gotta be a good thing, right?

So I respond to this very patient man’s message and let him know how glad I was that I didn’t have to stab my eye with a pencil (j/k).

I loved his note, told him I was interested and then gave him my digits.

I ended my note with:

“PS – If this works out, will you build me a house?”

Joking, of course, and a few hours later I receive a text from him.  He announces who he is and that yes, if this works out, he’ll build me a house. 🙂

I smiled, took a quick trip down Fantasy Lane to pick out some fabulous drapes, beautiful paint choices and shiny slabs of granite, and then went about my business.

Next step: a phone call. After that? A date…

Mr. Ab-City Surgeon

~ Single Girl ~ Leave a comment

I’ve seen a lot of abs in my day.  Guys who are super cut, extremely fit, with tight abdominals that show muscles I didn’t know existed.

For some really crazy reason, I seem to attract a lot of guys in LA who are in tip top shape -personal trainers, actors, models, etc.  And all this, despite the fact that my time spent in the gym is less than a fish spends on land, but hey, they’re not complaining.

I’ve even dated a celebrity personal trainer for about 8 months and we never worked out together ONCE.  He was fine with that and totally into me.

While you have to be attracted to each other, and it’s important to live a healthy lifestyle, newsflash, ladies: curves, confidence and a sense of humor are IN.  🙂

Which brings us to Mr. Surgeon.

First of all, I find it interesting that I’ve now met several men in the healthcare field recently.  The Doc, a home care nurse (two dates in now…blog coming perhaps), and now a surgeon.  Strange? Hmm. Maybe.

Regardless, I must let you know about Mr. Surgeon, a new prospect I met this week on OkCupid.  Here’s why he’s blog-worthy.

If you’ve any experience with online dating, you know that it’s a crap shoot.  There are literally millions of singles online.  A good handful of those aren’t real, and the vast majority of them are at least PARTLY fictional.  People tend to lie and/or stretch the truth about their age, height, weight, career, hobbies (would everyone stop tying to pose as a world traveler? Please, Jacque Cousteau, you really don’t travel that much.)

So when I see a profile that has outrageous claims, immaculate pics and a lengthy description filled out for each section of his profile that’s also 99% free of any grammar or writing errors, too?!?!?!, I immediately put up skeptical antennas.

So I come across Mr. Ab-City Surgeon recently, who earned this name due to one of his pics in a Halloween costume.  He’s wearing a bow-tie and cuffs, sunglasses, pants and Calvin Klein underwear, which I can see the tops of because he WASN’T WEARING A SHIRT!

He was, however, wearing his abs, and the definition was pretty ridiculous. No shirt needed.

It immediately reminded me I had to do laundry.

Now, again, I’ve seen plenty of washboards in my day, but this guy was also donning a big, bright smile.  My weakness. I LOVE happy people.

I further flip through his pics and see him (with clothes) in scenes at the beach (ok, well, he did have his shirt off there, too), a few with his gorgeous chocolate labrador, one flexing on some rocks by the ocean (hello, biceps, too), and one of my favorites – him scaling a glacier. Sure, why not.

But that was all just icing on the cake, really.

I skip to read his thoroughly well-thought-out profile and it only gets better.

He’s a surgeon.

And a personal trainer.

And a volunteer.

And wants to start a business.

And a Christian.

And…totally cute, and funny, and charming, and HAS TO BE FAKE.

I mean, come ON!

I’m so intrigued and fascinated that I decide to send him a message.

Typically, I will view a profile and see if the guy checks me out in return (they’re notified).  And if he does, I let him decide to send me a note or not.

However, there are the rare few who inspire me to write something clever and witty, in hopes of sparking a conversation.

That’s it.  Mr. Ab-City Surgeon was getting a message.

Here’s exactly what I wrote him:

“(insert his name he left in his profile)…

Your profile can’t be real….lol!

I’ve seen a lot of online dating profiles and yours is pretty outstanding. It started with your adorable dog, then the Instagram pics that’d make most pro photogs jealous, then the line of “…Although I love doing surgeries…”, followed by the abs and bowtie, glacier climbing and “Christianity and very serious about it.”

I mean, really? You’re a total catch! If you’re trying to destroy that already high bar of expectations women have in LA, you did it with flying colors. Very nicely done, sir. 🙂

Please tell me you’re single because your awesome life simply doesn’t allow you time to find an awesome woman counterpart (which is prob why you’re here on OKC). THAT I would believe.

Regardless, it’d be great to get to know you if you’re interested.

Cheers and best of luck in your search!”

And off I sent it.  Into the ethers of OkCupid and the Internet to see if the man would:

A.) look at my profile, and
B) respond.

I gave it a 20% chance that he’d respond.  I know this “type.”  He hadn’t been online in a few days, so I knew he wasn’t active.

I was so impressed by this dude that I posted about it on Facebook. (Hello to my friends who I’m connected with there and saw that post!) I asked them when they thought he’d respond.

And one of my girlfriends predicted three days…and wouldn’t ya know it? THREE DAY LATER, he responds to my message!

HOLY EXPLETIVE!

I about lost my mind when I saw the blue, blinking notification come across my phone.  “New Message” on OkCupid from (insert his profile name).

After I got done flipping my s*** for a good two minutes, screaming and freaking out, I regained composure and checked his message.

Much to my surprise, not only did he respond, but it was the beginnings of a legit conversation!

He said:

“LOL! You’re too funny, (insert my name here)…and yes, my profile is very real 🙂

I actually joined okc a few years ago after a friend of mine encouraged me to, then I got tired of it so I took a break from it for a while. My work/projects have definitely contributed to my single status but mostly I just haven’t quite crossed paths with the “right one” yet. I’d be lying though if I said that I didn’t appreciate having my “Single” card. Ha! How long have you been in LA?

– C”

And there ya have it.

I responded accordingly, stating that I was glad to know I made him laugh….and that he’s the real deal.  I replied with a few other questions and sent it off.

So now we wait, some more.

Either he’ll never respond again, he’ll respond with a few more questions and eventually want my number to talk and/or meet up, or we’ll get married.

Statistics say it’ll land somewhere in the middle and I’m going in with zero expectations, as I do with every new introduction I make.

I’ll be sure to keep you posted on this one.

That’d be hilarious if he was a heart surgeon.

The shenanigans continue…

Mr. Booty Call

~ Single Girl ~ 1 Comment

Wow, where do I start?

The beginning, I suppose.

About two weeks ago I received a message from a handsome Latin lad on OkCupid.  A rugged-looking, great smile with beautiful brown eyes that sparkle.  He’s an ex-Cirque dancer who’s traveled the world and now single, living in LA and working in post-production for a large company in the entertainment industry.  He liked my profile and wanted to see if I was interested in meeting up to ‘take a coffee.’ (The broken English is very cute.)

I think he’s really great-looking and sounds interesting, so we send a few messages back and forth over the next week, and eventually exchange numbers.

Last night he texts me to see if I was available to take that coffee – he would be in my area before having to meet a friend out.  Perfect.

We decide to meet at a nearby Starbucks, and as I approach he texts “Here?” I respond that I’m crossing the street.

(Side note – texting the play-by-play the moments before arrival and meeting a stranger for the first time comforts me.  Thanks to quick texts,  you don’t have the be the dork in the coffee shop looking at every new person who walks through the door, thinking, is that them??? Are they still coming? Am I too early? Did they find parking? When will they get here?! :))

I see a man with a beard step out of Starbucks and look at his phone as I make my way across the street to yet another first date scenario.  I’m feeling excited! The anticipation of who this new person could be in your life definitely fills your head each time, moments before every first date actually happens.

He sees me walk up and we hug and say hello.  It’s the awkward, nervous moment that happens on all first dates.

“Good to see you! Should we go inside?” he asks.  Thick Spanish accent.  Nice! The beard is different, though.  He didn’t have that in his main profile pic.

We walk inside and he asks me how my day was.  I tell him it was good and he asks what I do for a living.  I tell him and he’s interested.  I then return the question and he tells me where he works.

“No way! I have a good friend who works at that company,” I tell him, and he immediately holds his head and says…”Oh no……”

Now, at this moment, we both start smiling.  The next 10 seconds will be very telling…

He asks who it is.  I give him her name and he immediately grabs his head and says, “Oh NO!!!!! You’re kidding me! Of COURSE I know her! Oh woww…..” SMH.

And then he looks at me and says, “Wait.  You and I, we’ve actually met before. At that….that, um….show, in Hollywood.”

Sure enough, we had.  The lightbulb clicked.  This man and I have met, although very briefly, several months ago during Intermission at a play in Hollywood my friend (his co-worker) had invited me to.

But THEN….it ALLLLLL clicked for me.

This was the same man who my friend had the occasional…um, meeting, with.  A casual work fling she’d told me about, with a hot Latin dancer guy who was all about the sex.

OH SNAP.  This guy is her booty call.

So at this point, we’re both extremely red in the face.  We’re laughing because it’s so awkward, and I’m DYING inside because I doubt he knows what I know. Oh boy.  What do I do now?! And is this really happening?!

So I keep quiet, and as we try to maintain composure, about 2 people who are standing near us ask if we’re actually in line or not.

We were so caught off guard.   I’m sure we were standing there like 2 idiots.  He asks if I’d still like a coffee. I say yes, and we order our drinks.

As we wait for his Passionfruit Tea to be made, we still are just laughing and shaking our heads.  “Awkward…” he says, over and over.

“Ok, right?! And what are the chances?! There are millions of people in this city and we end up meeting!” I marvel.

He agrees it’s pretty crazy, still clearly embarrassed and/or trying to figure out what info I actually KNOW about himself.

So we sit down and he laughs and says we should text her we’re here together.  I laugh and say, “No, wait.  Let’s take a selfie together and send it! She’s going to die….”

And die she did, as I sent that pic of the two of us to her phone – me, one of her good gfs, and him, her booty call – just chillin’ at Starbucks.  On a first date.

Lord, help me.  This city is too small.

upDATE: Mr. I Want to Be Married

~ Single Girl ~ Leave a comment

A quick update for those of you wondering how my coffee first date went with the guy who sent me the text message about ONLY wanting to date someone if it meant it’d lead to marriage. Rare, I know, and I was excited to see what this guy was all about.

We met on a Saturday morning for coffee in Pasadena, halfway between where he and I live.

First impression? Cute! About my height (I’m 5’9″) and nice arms.  Great smile, too.

We hug hello and then get in line to order some caffeine.

We’re at Starbucks and he’s a total Californian when he asks to have his drink made with 20 different specifics about it.  I’m more the simple, laid-back type. I order straight off the menu.

We find some chairs and a table outside and begin to talk.  He’s either kinda nervous or a bit more on the uptight side, I can’t tell.  I’m definitely laughing (and making him laugh) more than the other way around.  Hmmmm….a sense of humor is a dealbreaker for me.

So he asks me a question and as I’m answering it he interrupts me and says, “How’s your drink?”

I’m confused.  It’s coffee.  It’s good.  I ask how his is and he’s not happy.

“It’s not strong enough.  See, I like to really do things.  If I’m paying for caffeine, I really want to…..feeeeel it.”

Oh, my.

He says he’s like this in all areas of his life.  Very extremist.  Including his cleaning habits, grooming habits, working out habits and more.  He actually says he’s like OCD, without the obsessive part.  And he assures me that he doesn’t expect this of other people, it’s more just for him.

I have a quick vision of him flipping his lid cuz I left a dish in the sink for the second time, and quickly come back to reality.

He’s so unhappy about his drink that he says he’s going to go change it.  He asks if that’s ok and he’s already up out of his chair.

Ummmm, I guess.

So literally TEN MINUTES later, he comes back out after having left me sit there by myself while he went in to try and have the poor barrista fix him the perfect coffee cocktail.

He’s happier now and we continue the conversation.  I’m trying to give this guy a break, and he is actually mentioning a lot of things that I actually value and want, too.

We were in an area of lots of furniture stores and since I needed to start looking for some new things, I mentioned that IKEA was just a block away and that I wanted to check it out that day.  I throw it out there to see if he wants to join me.  He hesitates for a second, but then says that’s cool.

We walk over to IKEA, talking the whole time.  Conversation is pretty surface level and this dude is not showing me any signs of real interest or affection.  Now, I don’t need to have you kissing me within the first five minutes of a first date, but dang.  If you’re acting like my brother or just a guy friend, then I’m not so much gonna feel anything romantic-like for you.

But at this point, I’m still trying to not give up so easily (as so many people dating do) and also don’t mind killing two birds with one stone by checking out what’s new at IKEA, so we begin the maze of Swedish furniture together.

Let me tell you, if you want to know what kind of person someone is on a first date, take them to IKEA and walk through that maze together.  You’ll know so much more at the end of it.

We survived the maze, although I learned two things:

1.  I’m not really a fan of IKEA anymore, even if I want to be ballin’ on a budget for some things.

2.  He doesn’t enjoy too many people in crowds, particularly screaming children.

It wasn’t horrible, but definitely interesting.

He walks me back to my car, hugs me goodbye and says it was a pleasure.  I think he mentions something about meeting up again, but I can’t really recall.  It was a few weeks back now and honestly, I left kinda underwhelmed.

I haven’t heard from him since, and guess what? That’s ok. 🙂

My Date with the Mattress Expert

~ Single Girl ~ Leave a comment

There are certain things that a single woman might have to do that would be WAY better to do with a man. Like shopping for a new mattress.

But, alas, until Mr. Right shows up, I get to enjoy awkward tasks like this one by my lonesome.

I need a new bed. I’m moving and had been borrowing one, so I need to buy the whole thing – mattress, box spring, frame, the actual bed, too. Ugh. A necessary evil. However, I DO prefer a bed to sleeping on the floor and I’m kinda excited to make my first ever grown up mattress purchase.

Not really knowing how or where to get started or more importantly, how to buy the right one, I started looking online. I also looked at IKEA on a first date. I asked my friends on Facebook.

Temperpedic. Sleep numbers. Memory foam. Memory foam with gel. Pillowtop. Body forming. Firm, extra firm, extra soft. And on and on.

Mattress shopping is freaking overwhelming! There are just as many choices of different types of mattresses as there are single men in Los Angeles, I swear.

So one of my gfs tells me to Yelp this place near me and go check it out. It’s close by, and since I cancelled my date tonight because a bed is kinda more important right now, I made my way over to the mattress store.

It’s Sunday, it’s in the evening, and about an hour before closing. I walk in and there’s just one guy there.

Oh, great. It’s me, this dude, and a ton of beds that I’m assuming I’m going to have to lay on for him. That’s not awkward at all.

He’s my age, super friendly and turns red in the face during moments when we talk.

He’s very helpful and starts telling me how the industry has changed over the years and how old, metal coils are out and how new fancy solutions are in. He’s showing me an example of a bed cut out, fancy springs and all.

Cool. I’m learning something. But I knew the weird part was coming next.

“What kind of sleeper are you?”

Ummm…. a good one?

Oh. I figure out what he means when he grabs a cardboard diagram of a person’s back. I’m a side-sleeper. (So is he.)

He asks a few more questions and then says what I was dreading.

“Ok, let’s start with these three. This one is the firmest and it goes up from there. Go for it. Start with this one here. ”

He points to the bed we’re standing next to and I awkwardly get on the bed and lay down. First on my back, then I switch over to my side.

I can’t concentrate on what it feels like because it feels like I’m a single woman in a huge mattress store with a dude watching me lay on a bed! I totally felt safe because the whole front of the store was windows, but still.  Am I wrong to feel some sort of sexual tension in this situation?

It was weird. He walks a few beds over to his desk to grab his drink while I lay there all awkward. He’s still talking casually about the differences and yada yada this and that, but I think he was trying to give me space to make it a bit less awkward.

I wonder what chapter this is in during Mattress Expert training:

“How to Sell a Mattress to a Single Woman While Being the Only Guy on Duty Without Looking Like You Want to Join Her: Part One.”

Luckily, he was really cool and laid back and that helped ease my weirdness, but still…

Imagine making eye contact with a guy while laying in bed and you’ve only known him for ten minutes. Weird!

But after that one, he had me move to the next. And so on and so on. This went on for about 20 minutes, while we narrowed down what I was loving or not loving so much.

He did really know his stuff.

Most of the awkwardness had faded by this point, and thank goodness I’m a pretty confident chick, otherwise I don’t know what I would have done. My hourglass shape is quite the hourglass when flipped on its side, laying down. Add that to him and I locking eyes while he checks out my hips, spine and posture to make sure I’m aligned…yeah, not awkward at all. I was just hoping I left my bedroom eyes Mr. Armani saw the other day at home! Hopefully the bright florescent store lights didn’t make my baby blues at all interesting.

In the end, I think I figure out what I want and he tells me he’ll give me an awesome deal on it. We talk a bit more about the price, manufacturer, how and where they make it, when it’d be delivered, etc, then he hands me his card, shakes my hand… No, wait, correction, he HOLDS my hand for an extra long second, and asks my name. I give it to him, grateful he didn’t know it during that whole process cuz that would have made things reallllly personal.

He thanks me for coming in and for “keeping him company” on such a lonely Sunday night. He’s laughing, of course, and it’s cute.

I thank him for his help and tell him I’ll give him a call to figure everything out this week.

Oy. Single girl shenanigans, indeed.

The good news? Once I buy it, the three people who’ll be sleeping in it will love my bed. Yes. Me, myself, and I shall get much needed rest from all these shenanigans. 🙂

“MANifesting”

~ Single Girl ~ Leave a comment

There’s a term I learned while living here in California. It’s called manifesting. Now I may lose you right about now and you might think I’m about to get all “hippy dippy” and “woo-woo” with you, and you’d be right, but get over it and read on anyways. 🙂

I wasn’t raised this way, but I’ve proven over and over that we definitely have the power and/or capability to manifest specific things we want into our lives. I know God has a hand in it, too, but I also know the “Universe” is at play.

That being said, there are times when I’m on a manifesting roll. Where things I want to happen, just happen.

For example, one day I’ll literally be thinking about or talking about something I want and then, BAM! The next day it’s happening to me.

From huge things like wanting to hear from someone I haven’t heard from in awhile and then they go ahead and text me, to small things like telling a friend I’m wanting a chocolate covered strawberry from Shari’s Berries and the next day it shows up at work because a gift from Shari’s Berries just came in from a vendor. (This happened yesterday.)

Some people might call this coincidence. Others might say that my energy of what I want is being put to work and that the Universe just starts conspiring to make it happen. Either way, I know one thing is for sure: You can’t be vague. You have to knew EXACTLY what you want, or nothing happens.

So it’s clear that I’m on a manifesting roll in my dating life, too. Two months ago I made the decision to start dating again (after a year or so hiatus)  and really start looking for someone special. And the abundance of men in the last few months only shows I’m on track. I’m intentionally and unintentionally bringing people into my life. Online dating sites help, but it’s organic, too. There’s no question that this MANifesting thing is working. My butt is tired! 🙂

But what’s most crazy is that in the past week, guys I’ve dated in the past that I’ve been thinking about, have reconnected with me and wanted to see me. (separate #upDATE blog posts coming.. Including a marriage proposal)

Like, they’re contacting me out of the blue.

And I think I know why…

A few years ago, I was truly only about the shenanigans of dating. Having fun, no-strings-attached shenanigans. I was always classy with it, but I was busy building my business and only “dated” men in a casual sense. I thought I wanted a relationship then, but looking back, I wasn’t really in that place. I was unknowingly a heartbreaker and I acted like a dude.

I was focused on something in Los Angeles other than seriousness with a guy, one of the “challenges” a lot of women (maybe me, now, too?) say sucks about dating in LA.

(This is also why I ended up laughing out loud when I was last with The Doc recently.  Taste of my own medicine, indeed!)

But now, I want a committed, long term relationship. My best friend and partner. And the guys who wanted to give me that back then are now showing back up. It’s weird.

I think it’s a test.

I think I’m being tested to make sure I know for SURE what i want. These guys are popping up to see if I’m interested in what they originally were offering. They represent guys who want something long term. Omgggggg! It actually exists in LA!

So stay tuned for the conversations and insight I’ll gather from these men. Not sure if anything will happen with them, as I’m still meeting new guys, too. (another first date on Saturday that I’m really looking forward to!)

Until then, I’m going to get very clear on other things I want in order to continue my manifesting trend.

Winning lottery tickets, anyone? 🙂