A quick update for those of you wondering how my coffee first date went with the guy who sent me the text message about ONLY wanting to date someone if it meant it’d lead to marriage. Rare, I know, and I was excited to see what this guy was all about.
We met on a Saturday morning for coffee in Pasadena, halfway between where he and I live.
First impression? Cute! About my height (I’m 5’9″) and nice arms. Great smile, too.
We hug hello and then get in line to order some caffeine.
We’re at Starbucks and he’s a total Californian when he asks to have his drink made with 20 different specifics about it. I’m more the simple, laid-back type. I order straight off the menu.
We find some chairs and a table outside and begin to talk. He’s either kinda nervous or a bit more on the uptight side, I can’t tell. I’m definitely laughing (and making him laugh) more than the other way around. Hmmmm….a sense of humor is a dealbreaker for me.
So he asks me a question and as I’m answering it he interrupts me and says, “How’s your drink?”
I’m confused. It’s coffee. It’s good. I ask how his is and he’s not happy.
“It’s not strong enough. See, I like to really do things. If I’m paying for caffeine, I really want to…..feeeeel it.”
He says he’s like this in all areas of his life. Very extremist. Including his cleaning habits, grooming habits, working out habits and more. He actually says he’s like OCD, without the obsessive part. And he assures me that he doesn’t expect this of other people, it’s more just for him.
I have a quick vision of him flipping his lid cuz I left a dish in the sink for the second time, and quickly come back to reality.
He’s so unhappy about his drink that he says he’s going to go change it. He asks if that’s ok and he’s already up out of his chair.
Ummmm, I guess.
So literally TEN MINUTES later, he comes back out after having left me sit there by myself while he went in to try and have the poor barrista fix him the perfect coffee cocktail.
He’s happier now and we continue the conversation. I’m trying to give this guy a break, and he is actually mentioning a lot of things that I actually value and want, too.
We were in an area of lots of furniture stores and since I needed to start looking for some new things, I mentioned that IKEA was just a block away and that I wanted to check it out that day. I throw it out there to see if he wants to join me. He hesitates for a second, but then says that’s cool.
We walk over to IKEA, talking the whole time. Conversation is pretty surface level and this dude is not showing me any signs of real interest or affection. Now, I don’t need to have you kissing me within the first five minutes of a first date, but dang. If you’re acting like my brother or just a guy friend, then I’m not so much gonna feel anything romantic-like for you.
But at this point, I’m still trying to not give up so easily (as so many people dating do) and also don’t mind killing two birds with one stone by checking out what’s new at IKEA, so we begin the maze of Swedish furniture together.
Let me tell you, if you want to know what kind of person someone is on a first date, take them to IKEA and walk through that maze together. You’ll know so much more at the end of it.
We survived the maze, although I learned two things:
1. I’m not really a fan of IKEA anymore, even if I want to be ballin’ on a budget for some things.
2. He doesn’t enjoy too many people in crowds, particularly screaming children.
It wasn’t horrible, but definitely interesting.
He walks me back to my car, hugs me goodbye and says it was a pleasure. I think he mentions something about meeting up again, but I can’t really recall. It was a few weeks back now and honestly, I left kinda underwhelmed.
I haven’t heard from him since, and guess what? That’s ok. 🙂