It’s 2017 already. Dang. Time has been flying by as I live my life here in the City of Angels.
I’m currently at the Spa. Just had an amazing body scrub and oil massage, followed by a delicious lunch. I have the day off of work so I decided to scrub away all the icky parts of 2016 and start anew.
Instead of writing all the stories that’ve happened over the past 6 months or so (there are TOO MANY to share!), I decided to just give you a re-cap on someone you may recall from quite awhile ago…
Here ya go, my faithful readers!
He’s a match of mine from eHarmony. An engineer who I thought was the best suited match and most compatible person for me I’ve met in years, but who wasn’t ready for a serious relationship when we met and had just moved to LA and wanted to “window shop.” Since I’m looking for more than a short term lease, I had to let him go.
Well sometimes life has to happen and time has to pass us by before we recognize the reason, season or lifetime explanation of why we were meant to meet someone.
I think my meeting Harvard became clear over the holidays.
Let me catch you up first…
Although I don’t think we’re a great match now (or maybe ever?), we re-connected several months back. After going our separate ways back in early 2016, we hadn’t really spoken.
But I ended up really missing him, so I reached out a few months back just to touch base.
He was glad to hear from me!
We ended up meeting for drinks to catch up.
We sat on a couch by a fire pit that overlooked the Pacific Ocean in Santa Monica at the swanky Loews Hotel. Just my vibe.
As the lights of the Santa Monica pier danced in the background, I wrapped myself up in a blanket and tried not to get wrapped up in his enormous smile and charming yet awkward personality. It was SO good to see him. We still had crazy chemistry.
He was seeing someone casually, he said, but I could tell he wasn’t into her.
He was interested in my story, of course, and told him I was dating a model, but nothing serious there.
He about flipped his lid and demanded to see pics of this so-called “model.”
I thought his jealousy and laughter and authentic shock was cute. He clearly wanted to see where/how he measured up.
Guys and their ego, I tell you….smh. I had no intention of shoving this guy’s pics in Harvard’s face. That would be cold.
But, like a dog with a bone, and after much pushing and persuading from Harvard, I finally relented and showed him a few pics of the guy I had been seeing casually for several months.
He saw pics of who I call “Model Mayhem” – his jaw hit the ground.
Some pics were from us in Vegas for a fun weekend getaway – we were dressed to the nine’s one night. EVERYONE stared at us when we went out that night and it was fun to have so many people look at us, wondering who we were. I have GREAT pics. 🙂
Bad idea for Harvard, but he asked for it.
(Guys – don’t ever do this to yourselves. Just don’t.)
I felt awkward, of course, and immediately Harvard felt inadequate. Since we had been hinting around the fact Harvard and I had dated and admittedly had something serious, even if for a brief period of time, I could tell this threw him off.
I re-assured him that if I had to choose between Model Mayhem and him, I’d choose him every time. (True, actually).
While Model Mayhem is successful, ambitious and extremely handsome, I still think I’m better suited with someone like Harvard – super intelligent, hard-working, creative and good-looking with an amazing smile.
He didn’t believe me, but whatever.
The flirting continued and he eventually let it go as the fire crackled in front of us.
We caught up on what’s going on with work and our pursuits of advancing our careers here in Los Angeles – something we both have very much in common. The quintessential “Power Couple” I envision for my future is in Harvard and me.
His phone buzzed and a former classmate from Harvard came across the street to meet us for a quick few minutes. It was fun to meet her, and see him interact with someone who knew him back in the day.
After she left, we continued to chat, and then later another friend of his stopped by (popular guy, popular city). This time a Yale Business School graduate and financial analyst. He was a cool dude, too, and we all had a great time chatting about LA, music and life in our 30s.
I do love the smart peeps. Education is important to me in a match. Although you might have a stereotype in your mind of what these people look like, they are hardly nerds. Everyone is sexy, cultured, smart. I dig it, Ivy Leaguers.
Fast forward another hour and two more rounds of drinks later, the night was still young and Harvard invited us both back to his place nearby to crack open a bottle of Patron.
I was digging Harvard, so I happily went with the extended plans for the evening ahead.
Fast forward to about three rounds of shots later (OMG….why?!), I was in no condition to drive and so I spent the night.
Time for breakfast.
We walked to his new favorite breakfast spot, hungover and still punch drunk on the crazy chemistry we clearly both have.
I had never been to this place, but it looked perfect.
I then had a pretty good chuckle when the hostess greeted us at the door and said, “Hey guys! Welcome back.”
As she seated us, I just smiled, recognizing she thought I was another woman he’d brought there before, and said, “No….lol. Not me. Just him. I’m new.” (wink)
She felt SO embarrassed and left us quickly with two menus and awkwardness.
I looked at Harvard, who was looking for my reaction.
I smiled coyly and said, “Such a shame the other one wasn’t memorable enough….”
He laughed and we took our water glasses and said “Cheers.”
Conversation continued over our food and we danced around the idea of “us” for the the next hour.
His hesitancy was real, for a couple reasons, including that his ex-wife of 7 years ago recently wanted to take some of his money for an investment he had made money on during their marriage many years prior. His lawyer said he would have to pay her.
Definitely gun-shy and obviously torn between trusting women and otherwise just throwing his hands in the air.
Besides, I was dating a model.
“What could you possibly see in me?”
I just rolled my eyes and took another bite of food.
Well, since I’m never one to have to convince someone that I like them when I’ve said it til I’m blue in the face, I let it go.
We still ended breakfast on a good note.
As we went our separate ways, he told me I look good with no makeup on (can we just pause for the fact that I went out in public with NO MAKEUP ON the next morning in Los Angeles?! I’m wifey material just for that simple fact, right?? Actually, Harvard makes me feel so comfortable that I didn’t think much about it when leaving the house that morning.)
I told him to keep in touch, but knew in my heart it wasn’t meant to be. I want a confident man who’s not afraid to fight for me and let his feelings be known. I know Harvard likes me, but he’s too scared. Or, I’m simply not “The One.” Either way…
I’m not a damsel in distress, but dang, can someone PLEASE climb up the tower and rescue a princess in this lifetime? Guys in Los Angeles barely make the effort to start a conversation after they’ve swiped right, much less scale a turret.
Ok, you’re caught up on the backstory. Which brings us to the “WHY” of why I think Harvard ever came into my life at all.
Fast forward a few more months and my son, 15, is discussing with me ideas about where he wants to go to college.
We’ve visited a few campuses in California, but guess where he has his sights set on?
Now that’s a hard school to get into! My son has top grades and is in honors classes and quite the little genius himself (Thank you, God, for such a blessing in this child), but what does it even take??? How do you actually get INTO Harvard??
As his mom, it’s my job to help prepare him for life as an adult. I had to figure this one out.
It clicks for me.
Maybe I could get Harvard to talk to him!
I never have my son meet guys I’m dating because that’s only really appropriate once things are more serious and established.
We weren’t dating any longer.
This was different.
My son is also older now and more than capable of taking this type of a meeting.
I had offered to buy Harvard coffee in exchange for talking to my son about the application process and any special insight he could give him as a Harvard alum. He was thrilled that I asked and more than happy to help out.
And so over Christmas break, my son met Harvard.
They both really hit it off, and as Harvard shared more of his experience and journey, he also became inspired by my son’s ambitions to be one of the world’s next great leaders.
As I sat to the side of them, quietly listening while sipping my latte, the thought came to me that perhaps THIS was the reason why I had been introduced to Harvard in the first place.
That a year later, it perhaps wasn’t meant for him and I to be together romantically, but that a bond had grown strong enough in a friendship that he wanted to help shape the potential important future of my son.
And that, folks, is why I never try to burn bridges or hold grudges when things don’t work out with guys I’ve dated.
If there’s mutual respect from both parties, you just never know how things could progress in the future.
Who knows if my son will go to Harvard. I’ll support him no matter what he decides and no matter what he aims for in life.
And who knows what will happen to me and Harvard (we did just have lunch, randomly, two days ago…I was in his hood so I text him ‘hello’ and he came to meet me.)
But I know in my heart that pivotal meetings like the one we had on Montana Ave on December 24th, 2016 between my son, myself and Harvard will stay with us forever.
And for that, I’m grateful.
Until next time, my friends…
Thanks so much for reading. You rock.