People treat us the way we allow them to.
I rarely cut people off, but today I got my scissors OUT. #done
If it’s not working out with a guy I’m involved with I typically have a respectful bowing out type of communication. I never get angry or bitter. I never call him out on his BS or get into any deep conversations where we discover why the two of us went wrong. It’s usually a respectful, adult-like parting of ways. (Even though so many guys really should have the riot act read to them for simple things like not knowing how to pick up the phone, or how to properly court someone they’re interested in.) Dating these days has gone to the dogs with some people!
Journey with me back to Friday of last week…
First of all, you should know that 99.9% of the time I can’t relate to the term “thirsty.” (Urban dictionary’s definition of “thirsty” found here.) But that .10% of the time that I am feeling parched forgive me. I’m only human.
In my moment of weakness, I reached out to someone who I’ve been seeing off and on since January. We haven’t seen each other in two months or so but last we talked it was clear we both wanted to see what could happen with us.
He’s a more serious type of guy and so our conversations were always very real and very deep when they went there. He even mentioned I’d be a really great wife. He’s a good Christian guy and heavily involved in the church, which is something I find attractive. Not necessary, but helpful to share a similar background.
And the man is ambitious.
Besides him being a chivalrous gentleman, a musician and scholar, his ambition was one of the things I found most attractive.
He’s starting another business. You know I love those entrepreneur types.
He’s always out of town, or running from place to place driving somewhere – one of the reasons why plans are never made.
Because I’m more traditional, and love a man to take the initiative and be masculine and show up as a leader, I typically let the guy take charge in making plans to see me.
I don’t sit back and wait all the time, but typically I’ll reach out to people who I really enjoy their company, and when we may have something potential going. I understand that people are busy here in Los Angeles and that dating sometimes takes the back seat (for real, though), so I don’t mind reaching out to people to get the ball rolling again. Sometimes you just gotta put yourself out on their radar.
So Friday, I found myself in a rare situation with absolutely no plans set for the weekend. I reach out to Mr. Busy to see if he was around for the weekend. To my surprise he responded quickly and asked what I was up to. He told me that he had tentative plans for the weekend. His boys were having a kickoff football party in San Diego this weekend and he was just waiting to hear if his friend’s wife would let him go on the trip. So far she wasn’t having it..
I was pretty blunt and clear when I said I wanted to see him. (remember, I was feeling the thirst, ya’ll)
He got the message and given our past and crazy chemistry together, he excitedly said, “Yes, let’s make plans.”
He was a few hours away, working on closing a big deal for his business so he said he would hit me up when he was on his way back to Los Angeles.
I went home after work and did a bunch of stuff. Around 9:30p I realized he still hadn’t called so I sent him a message. He apologized that it was so late in getting back to me, that he had just finished up the paperwork and was headed back home. He said he’d call me when he got there.
He never did.
Saturday afternoon comes around.
I sent him a message, “Get home okay last night?”
Hours go by. No answer.
In the meanwhile I was having a glorious day by myself. I took myself shopping, bought some great things and truly enjoyed the relaxing day in the sun walking around by the beach.
It’s now Saturday evening.
I’m trying to stay patient at this point now that half of the weekend is already over and we still haven’t touched base about what plans we’re going to make. So I laugh it off and try to be cute hoping he’d respond.
“Wow! You are super ghost! Lol” (Urban dictionary’s definition of “going ghost” found here.)
Hours past. STILL NO ANSWER FROM HIM.
Luckily, my single life rocks and after a full day of shopping, I spent Saturday night on Blab.im, (basically like Skype with multiple people..it’s new, it’s awesome). My friends and I from all over the country had a great time laughing and talking to each other. We all made our own cocktails and said “Cheers” to each other virtually. It was a blast!
The next morning I wake up, and had totally forgotten that dude hasn’t hit me up yet. At this point, I’m not disappointed but shaking my head. Typical.
I enjoy another relaxing day and end up lounging by the pool that afternoon where I eventually send him another message.
I let it go that he may or may not ever respond at this point, but he did.
It was typical and looking back at his behavior I shouldn’t have expected any different.
I couldn’t take it (my texts are in green below):
Oh, you gonna still make me an option, not a priority? And over the Baltimore Ravens?! Oh HELL, NO!
Snip, snip. Deuces!
So, guys, what do you think? Was I too harsh? Not harsh enough? (And no, it’s been 7 hours and I know he saw the message from me, but the fool hasn’t even responded back yet.) SMH, ya’ll.