I’m Dating Myself, Too

One of the things you hear every love, dating, and relationship guru say is that if you don’t love yourself FIRST, how could someone else love you? Or something along those lines.  It sounds kinda sad and desperate, but in reality it’s actually a really important point.

As much as an extroverted outgoing social butterfly I can be, I also enjoy my “me time.” Unless I have set plans with friends, or a date, I prefer to chill on my own.  I don’t ALWAYS need to be with other people to feel fulfilled.  It’s a great time to decompress, unwind and reflect.

This weekend I decided to launch my dating blog.  I knew I wanted to take my laptop somewhere with a great vibe to set it up in.  I was feeling inspired and excited! Maybe up the street to a fabulously swanky rooftop hotel on Sunset Blvd? Somewhere close where I could feel the afternoon sun on my face, while a gentle LA breeze kissed my cheek?

After debating for awhile, I ended up making a last minute decision to jump in my car and take a mini road-trip.  I left the hustle and bustle of Los Angeles and drove south to Rancho Palos Verdes, where a piece of heaven on earth secretly hides away from those who don’t know about it.

I arrived at Terranea Resort, a gorgeous place with private villas and high-end dining sprawling out over acres and acres of manicured lawns, oceans views and cliffs below.  A place I’ve been to before by myself and with a friend, and a place I’m dying to spend a weekend with someone special.  Who and when? Great question. Until then, I’m fine just enjoying its beauty.

I grabbed my blanket out of the trunk, my laptop, my Bose headphones (that a guy I’m currently dating let me borrow…so sweet), an Architectural Digest and my phone and hiked down to the beach.

I found a perfect spot, close to the water.  Two hours of bliss followed.

Life is good.

There is nothing like the sound of the waves crashing against the shore.  NOTHING.

Side note: There were tourists that came by throughout my time there.  Lots of pictures were taken, kids were playing, crazy men jumped into the freezing cold Pacific while their wives laughed at them and smiled, etc.  I caught two Australian guys near me who were in their late 20s probably.  Guess what they were talking about? Dating and relationships, and what the one guy should do about the girl he’s been seeing for a bit.

Love.  It’s universal. 🙂

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Who I’ve Dated in The Melting Pot…aka Los Angeles

I was born and raised in the Midwest, the suburbs of Chicago, to be exact.  For a short stint, I also lived on a farm.  With barns and everything.  My move to Los Angeles in 2006 was brave, scary and awesome.  My dating life and what it would or wouldn’t be was never a top priority or point of concern, but over the years as a single girl, I’ve come to have some pretty amazing first-hand experiences with dating in this giant city ‘o lights.  Wow, is it an interesting place.

LA is a melting pot.  No one is from here and we’re all known as “transplants.” Everyone moves to California to follow their dreams, in hopes of hitting it big.  Cool.  Me, too. And in some respects, I have.

However, the desire to find a boyfriend or girlfriend to be in a long-term committed relationship with you is like almost non-existent compared to other (probably smaller) towns.  Everyone is “on their grind” – especially the 20s and 30s crowd.

Here’s a taste of who I’ve “dated” over the years here in LA:

Bartenders, actors, directors, photographers, personal trainers, musicians, vocalists, writers….did I mention actors and personal trainers? Yeah, I sense a theme, too.  They were all pretty awesome guys, actually.  Some had more going than others, but I tend to hold a higher standard with who I want to spend time with so they were all above average, for sure.

Bonus: Almost everyone was really good-looking.  It must be something in the water here.  (That’s true for most ANYONE in Los Angeles – people are beautiful here.  Even the garbage men are hot.)

But I didn’t just run into struggling wanna-be dudes, hoping to become the next big thing in Hollywood.  I’ve also dated VPs of major corporations, millionaire dudes with investment portfolios to be proud of, bankers, real estate geniuses and more.

I’ve dated guys with no cars and guys pushing Range Rovers.  I’ve dated vegans (eww, what?) and guys who wear skinny jeans to good ‘ol Midwest guys I’m familiar with from back home.

But most of them put finding a woman to date, then marry and fall into happily ever after with wayyyyy at the bottom of their list.  They had much more to be focused on.  And I did in the past, too.

There’s a mentality here that tends to put your selfish pursuits first, and your accommodations towards others, second.  Obviously this is a problem when it comes to finding longterm love.

Personally, I’ve LOVED getting to know single guys here.  The few total whackjobs I’ve encountered over the years still don’t deter me from welcoming a new introduction.

Now that I’m over the “casual dating” phase of my life, I’m hoping to find the proverbial needle in the haystack.  I’ll be sure to bring you the highlights going forward of who’s in the running. 🙂