The Abs Return: Mr. Surgeon Part II

In case you missed the introduction to Mr. Ab-City Surgeon, head there now and then come back.

So are you ready?!?! Here’s an update on the handsome washboard-having MD!

Ok, well, you see that last exclamation point I just used in the last sentence? Yeah, that sentence alone was about as exciting as it’ll get here, so don’t expect fireworks or get your hopes up for somethin’ juicy.  Not in this one, at least.  (Not every part of the dating in LA shenanigans contains pizazz.  Sorry.  Which further signifies the sometimes draining, dismal, boring, frustrating part of online dating.  I tend to share the exciting and emotional experiences, but yes, there are the hum-drum, snoozefest moments, too.)

And although I was totally excited to see the blue, flashing “New message from (insert his screen name here)” on OkCupid come flying in tonight, the excitement was about a 2 on a scale of 1 to 10.

Why, you ask?

Mostly because it had been 8 DAYS since we last exchanged messages.  8 DAYS! That’s like an eternity in online dating speak.  Nobody waits that long and still remembers someone they talked to once, over a week ago.

Except me, I guess.  I remembered him.  He was even blog-worthy.  And I can thank my photographic memory, too.  And for his six-pack abs that permanently burned a hole in my single mind’s eye…

Regardless, I was caught up in a TV show when the blue light came blinking and I didn’t want to look toooo eager, so I waited a bit to check his message and respond.

I had previously asked him whether he was from LA.

He started with:

“Hi (insert my name here)!”

An exclamation point! He used my name! That was nice.  Some interest there, obviously.

And then he answers my question.  In two sentences.  And that was it. Nothing more, no further questions.

WHEW! Told ya.  Excitement.  Drama.  Intrigue.

NOT.

I sent him back a generic message, and asked another related question about his experience living in Los Angeles.

So now I’m sitting here thinking:

A.) Hmmm.  He wrote me back, but is he still interested? I mean, he DID write me back.  He DID use an exclamation point.  He DID use my name (and re-look at my profile before responding.) But he was very short in his response, and didn’t ask a single question in return.  Hmmm.

and,

B.) I wonder if Mr. Architect will let me know about confirming plans for this Friday’s date tonight, or tomorrow? Hmmm.

So there ya have it.

My interest has clearly been diverted off of abs and steered into a very different direction.  A taller, older, more established direction.  And yes, I just called Mr. Architect more established than a surgeon, believe it or not.  He’s incredible! (I still owe you more info on Mr. Architect, I know…)

In my first blog about Mr. Surgeon, I had predicted that he’d either never respond, we’d send a few messages back and forth, or we’d get married – with the reality laying somewhere in the middle.

My further prediction now?

I think that was the end.

I’d be very surprised if I hear back from him again.

I would NOT be surprised, however, if I found some more abs on OkCupid.  The amount of beautiful men sporting almost perfect bodies on dating sites in Los Angeles is almost laughable.  They’re everywhere.  Must be something in the water…

Mr. Architect – Will you build me a house?

Apparently Plenty of Fish (POF) doesn’t let you send someone a message if you haven’t at least uploaded one picture of yourself first.  THIS kind of a rule is amazing.   Online dating is so much better when there’s pics.

Yet Mr. Architect found this out the hard way when he came across my profile and immediately wanted to contact me.  (He later tells me how and why he initially reached out.)

Seeing as how he’s a very private guy, he didn’t want to upload any pictures.  However, he saw me and wanted to contact me, so up a picture went.

Operation: Talk To This Girl, began.

First, he added me as a Favorite.

I ignored it.

Big deal.  Tons of people add me as a favorite, but never do anything beyond that.  Plus, your profile’s pretty blank, dude.  Not interested.

A few days pass.  He then sent me a message:

“Good morning…”

That was it.

So, naturally, I ignored it, also.

Not because I’m a snob, but if that’s all you’re going to give me in your first message, I’m not interested.  It’s not my job to create your profile (or conversation) FOR you!

Besides, after the hundredth first-ever message from guys like: “Hi.” “Hey there.” “What’s up?” “Hey beautiful.” “How are you?” ….I want to stab my eye with a pencil. Where’s the originality?!

Points for someone who knows how to communicate! Yes, even online, it’s a stretch nowadays, and someone who can string together more than two original sentences is already sexier than the other “Hi” guy. Ugh.  Kill me.

A few days later, this guy who had actually listed his profession on his very limited profile as “Sales Professional”, decided to give it one more shot.

He finally sends:

“Hello,

You’re gorgeous and I think you’re just stunning! And I’m sure you’re bright and put together as well, and I would love to talk sometime, or if you’re up for it, even meet……I’m a 6’4″ architect ~ funny, bright, cool laid-back guy who is also very fit.

You can check me out via my website (insert his company website here) and or contact/email me on FB.

Cheers,
(insert his first initial, last initial here)”

NOW we’re talking! I loved the extra info. And a girl LOVES to hear she’s stunning and beautiful.

I was listening…

I loved the mini-pitch of who he is (an architect, huh?), and that he gave me extra links to look up (ie – stalk) him online.

Winning!

So, naturally, I stalk.

Before I even consider responding, I jump to his website.

Oh! Very nice! I see pics of his portfolio from some projects he’s worked on and I’m immediately impressed.  I see the same picture he’s uploaded to his POF profile under the “About Us” tab for his Residential Design firm.  A lengthy bio explains not only who he is, but that he specializes in the Classical tradition, with special emphasis on American renaissance period between 1880 – 1930.  He’s LEGIT!

I remember that I had listed “Interior Design” as one of my interests on my POF profile, because this stuff fascinates me.  I’m immediately intrigued.

So then I stalk him on Facebook, and after jumping over to my FB app to type in his name, I find we already have 10 friends in common here in Los Angeles.  Whoa! That’s gotta be a good thing, right?

So I respond to this very patient man’s message and let him know how glad I was that I didn’t have to stab my eye with a pencil (j/k).

I loved his note, told him I was interested and then gave him my digits.

I ended my note with:

“PS – If this works out, will you build me a house?”

Joking, of course, and a few hours later I receive a text from him.  He announces who he is and that yes, if this works out, he’ll build me a house. :)

I smiled, took a quick trip down Fantasy Lane to pick out some fabulous drapes, beautiful paint choices and shiny slabs of granite, and then went about my business.

Next step: a phone call. After that? A date…

Mr. Ab-City Surgeon

I’ve seen a lot of abs in my day.  Guys who are super cut, extremely fit, with tight abdominals that show muscles I didn’t know existed.

For some really crazy reason, I seem to attract a lot of guys in LA who are in tip top shape -personal trainers, actors, models, etc.  And all this, despite the fact that my time spent in the gym is less than a fish spends on land, but hey, they’re not complaining.

I’ve even dated a celebrity personal trainer for about 8 months and we never worked out together ONCE.  He was fine with that and totally into me.

While you have to be attracted to each other, and it’s important to live a healthy lifestyle, newsflash, ladies: curves, confidence and a sense of humor are IN.  :)

Which brings us to Mr. Surgeon.

First of all, I find it interesting that I’ve now met several men in the healthcare field recently.  The Doc, a home care nurse (two dates in now…blog coming perhaps), and now a surgeon.  Strange? Hmm. Maybe.

Regardless, I must let you know about Mr. Surgeon, a new prospect I met this week on OkCupid.  Here’s why he’s blog-worthy.

If you’ve any experience with online dating, you know that it’s a crap shoot.  There are literally millions of singles online.  A good handful of those aren’t real, and the vast majority of them are at least PARTLY fictional.  People tend to lie and/or stretch the truth about their age, height, weight, career, hobbies (would everyone stop tying to pose as a world traveler? Please, Jacque Cousteau, you really don’t travel that much.)

So when I see a profile that has outrageous claims, immaculate pics and a lengthy description filled out for each section of his profile that’s also 99% free of any grammar or writing errors, too?!?!?!, I immediately put up skeptical antennas.

So I come across Mr. Ab-City Surgeon recently, who earned this name due to one of his pics in a Halloween costume.  He’s wearing a bow-tie and cuffs, sunglasses, pants and Calvin Klein underwear, which I can see the tops of because he WASN’T WEARING A SHIRT!

He was, however, wearing his abs, and the definition was pretty ridiculous. No shirt needed.

It immediately reminded me I had to do laundry.

Now, again, I’ve seen plenty of washboards in my day, but this guy was also donning a big, bright smile.  My weakness. I LOVE happy people.

I further flip through his pics and see him (with clothes) in scenes at the beach (ok, well, he did have his shirt off there, too), a few with his gorgeous chocolate labrador, one flexing on some rocks by the ocean (hello, biceps, too), and one of my favorites – him scaling a glacier. Sure, why not.

But that was all just icing on the cake, really.

I skip to read his thoroughly well-thought-out profile and it only gets better.

He’s a surgeon.

And a personal trainer.

And a volunteer.

And wants to start a business.

And a Christian.

And…totally cute, and funny, and charming, and HAS TO BE FAKE.

I mean, come ON!

I’m so intrigued and fascinated that I decide to send him a message.

Typically, I will view a profile and see if the guy checks me out in return (they’re notified).  And if he does, I let him decide to send me a note or not.

However, there are the rare few who inspire me to write something clever and witty, in hopes of sparking a conversation.

That’s it.  Mr. Ab-City Surgeon was getting a message.

Here’s exactly what I wrote him:

“(insert his name he left in his profile)…

Your profile can’t be real….lol!

I’ve seen a lot of online dating profiles and yours is pretty outstanding. It started with your adorable dog, then the Instagram pics that’d make most pro photogs jealous, then the line of “…Although I love doing surgeries…”, followed by the abs and bowtie, glacier climbing and “Christianity and very serious about it.”

I mean, really? You’re a total catch! If you’re trying to destroy that already high bar of expectations women have in LA, you did it with flying colors. Very nicely done, sir. :)

Please tell me you’re single because your awesome life simply doesn’t allow you time to find an awesome woman counterpart (which is prob why you’re here on OKC). THAT I would believe.

Regardless, it’d be great to get to know you if you’re interested.

Cheers and best of luck in your search!”

And off I sent it.  Into the ethers of OkCupid and the Internet to see if the man would:

A.) look at my profile, and
B) respond.

I gave it a 20% chance that he’d respond.  I know this “type.”  He hadn’t been online in a few days, so I knew he wasn’t active.

I was so impressed by this dude that I posted about it on Facebook. (Hello to my friends who I’m connected with there and saw that post!) I asked them when they thought he’d respond.

And one of my girlfriends predicted three days…and wouldn’t ya know it? THREE DAY LATER, he responds to my message!

HOLY EXPLETIVE!

I about lost my mind when I saw the blue, blinking notification come across my phone.  “New Message” on OkCupid from (insert his profile name).

After I got done flipping my s*** for a good two minutes, screaming and freaking out, I regained composure and checked his message.

Much to my surprise, not only did he respond, but it was the beginnings of a legit conversation!

He said:

“LOL! You’re too funny, (insert my name here)…and yes, my profile is very real :-)

I actually joined okc a few years ago after a friend of mine encouraged me to, then I got tired of it so I took a break from it for a while. My work/projects have definitely contributed to my single status but mostly I just haven’t quite crossed paths with the “right one” yet. I’d be lying though if I said that I didn’t appreciate having my “Single” card. Ha! How long have you been in LA?

- C”

And there ya have it.

I responded accordingly, stating that I was glad to know I made him laugh….and that he’s the real deal.  I replied with a few other questions and sent it off.

So now we wait, some more.

Either he’ll never respond again, he’ll respond with a few more questions and eventually want my number to talk and/or meet up, or we’ll get married.

Statistics say it’ll land somewhere in the middle and I’m going in with zero expectations, as I do with every new introduction I make.

I’ll be sure to keep you posted on this one.

That’d be hilarious if he was a heart surgeon.

The shenanigans continue…

My Biggest Fear While I’m Dating…

 

 

None of my dates can find out about this blog!

As an owner of a dating blog that details my shenanigans and escapades, this is my biggest fear.  Is that dumb? :)

So, just in case – can you help me come up with some clever responses when someone springs this on me mid-dinner?  I’m listening! Comment below. Thank you…lol.me, on a date....busted

The cure.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sounds like I need a good, hard cry during a nice, long swim.

 

Why Dating is Difficult in Los Angeles

image

This is a frequent topic among my other single friends and myself.

A lot of people here who are dating and not finding “the one” blame it on the city. They say it’s too hard here, that people are not really looking for a relationship, or that they just don’t know what they want.   People are mostly focused on their career or their pursuits of becoming the next big thing.   Before you know it we have a city full of wandering single folks constantly shaking their head.

I’ve experienced these things myself and I’ve also seen it happen to others.

Being clear on what you want is definitely a big help.  This wasn’t always the case with me, even though I thought I knew what I wanted. Oops! Sorry to all the guys I met who were interested in pursuing more but got the hand in the face instead. My bad. That wasn’t nice and must have been super confusing when you heard me say I’m looking for a relationship.

Recently I’ve learned that in order to know what you want in a partner, you must first really know yourself. Now I know this sounds all Yoda-like, but it really does make a difference.

Knowing yourself give you confidence. Knowing yourself allows you to create boundaries, expectations and goals. Knowing yourself allows you to have easier conversations in the “getting to know you” process.

Dating can be a challenge. Why not make it easier on yourself by figuring out the above? :)

Los Angeles is a tricky place to date, yes, but really I think this concept applies everywhere in the country. 

What do you think?

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